Derek and Lisa's Adoption Adventure

Faith Hope and Love

2006-03-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

These are the things that have gotten us through the past week. These are the things that will carry us through the rest of our lives.

I could bore you with all of the revelations that I (we) have had in the past week. Most of it is very religious stuff that many of you don't believe in anyway. However, our faith is very strong. No apologies or disclaimers here in referring God.

This little boy will be in our hearts forever. Personally I still consider him my son. We have tried to liken his loss to many things. Miscarriage, still birth, or even a child that was kidnapped and then found.

While these analogies are similar they just aren't quite right. A will never come and live in our home. He may never even leave Russia, but he is our son the same. Right now I consider myself to be a very lucky woman. I truly believe that the Lord sent this little boy who had nothing to us to pray for and love. There are people all over the world thinking of this little boy. Just look at the map below.

Not only did this boy have all of this love and support he now has a home, a mama and papa to love and care for him. He will never again have to wake up in the orphanage. My prayers have been answered.

So where does that leave us? Well... moving forward. Jen put it best. Adoption Adventure was all about A. She is correct. The past year our lives have revolved around that one little person. We felt it only appropriate to start fresh with a new blog. So this will be our last post from Adoption Adventure. We are packing up and moving to some new digs. Go check it out. Our new blog is called Unexpected Miracles. It will chronicle the second act in our adoption journey. We hope that you will continue to follow along with us. Adoption Adventure will still be here. We are going to leave it for people to refer back to. We don't want to erase the last year, we just want to move forward.

Bye Little A. We're going to miss you!

"Pray to God, but continue to row toward shore." -Russian Proverb

The unthinkable...

2006-03-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

The unthinkable has happened. As you know, L and I waited all weekend because our agency facilitator had told us last week that we should be receiving an update about A on Monday. Well Monday finally rolled around and I came home to find a message from Olga on our phone. She asked that we call her back right away because she had info to share... there was a problem with A. As you can well imagine my heart sank as soon as I heard those words.

So, L and I sat together in our office and called Olga back. She asked if L was with me and I answered yes. I put her on speaker-phone so that we could both hear what she had to say. Now I don't know if it's because she talks so fast and has a heavy Russian accent or if it was because she was saying words we didn't want to hear, but we we're having a hard time understanding. The news that we had been waiting all weekend to hear, was the most devastating news that I have ever heard in my life. Our boy, the one we had been waiting to go get for over 9 months, was no longer available. Our hearts broke immediately. Here we had been patiently waiting, hoping, loving this little boy in Russia and now in one moment, he was gone.

You might be wondering (I know we are), "How could this happen?" Well, the MoE changed the rules late last year. The new rules requires that all family members be notified before the child could be adopted. It also requires that the child be seen by 3 different Russian families before being placed with a foreign family. So in the process of all of this, one of the Russian families saw little A and chose to adopt him.

So the question that we've been asking in our heart and out loud in the last 24 hours is "Where do we go from here?" In the process of our crying and grieving last night we really didn't have a clue. We couldn't really bear to think about it. With each passing hour it becomes a little more clear. We know this much: We aren't giving up that a child that is meant to be part of our family and we still believe that he (or she) is in Russia. We will continue to grieve the little boy that has been in our hearts for nearly a year, but have some peace knowing that he has a forever family and no longer has to live in an orphanage. It doesn't make it hurt any less but at least it allows us to move ahead.

So now, even with a heavy heart, we forge ahead. We ask all of our friends and family for your thoughts and prayers during this time. We have to believe that some things happen for a reason. At this point we don't know what that reason is. We don't know why this child wasn't meant for us, but continue to believe that there is one out there that is. We are continuing to put our trust in God and walking the path that he lays in front of us. We don't know where it will leads us but I know that together we can get through anything.

Surprise!

2006-03-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

The iPod fairy visited us this weekend!!!! Woo Hoo!!!

The majority of you know D's obsession with the iPod. He has wanted one for months. The obsession is so well known that other people blog about it. (ok, secretly I really wanted one too, but just so I wasn't left out)

So we have this fantastic dinner with D's parents on Friday night and when we get back to their house Dad brings us these cute little gift bags. Inside... oh yeah! beautiful black iPod Nanos.

I thought for sure that as soon as we got home that night D would be sitting in front of the computer downloading every CD onto the computer. Amazing enough he didn't. We went straight to bed. However, after breakfast he didn't even wait for me to finish my coffee before getting up to play with his new toy. Wanna see it?

I will admit that the one with the headphone cord attached is mine, and I will also admit that the other end of the cord is firmly planted in my head.

Now the gift of the iPod did not come without its drawbacks. Of course, as with the TiVo incident*, we couldn't just download the songs onto the slim black beauties. Not only did new software need to be installed on my already overloaded computer, but new hardware as well. I asked D that if he installed a new piece of hardware to the inside of my computer that he had to promise me that it would work when he was done. He of course promised nothing. Yes the new hardware was a USB 2.0 card that had to be installed inside my computer.

The normal person wouldn't panic when her very technologically savvy husband says he is going to open up a computer case. But I am not a normal person. I never shut my computer off. NEVER. I am afraid that if I do it will never start again. Then what would I do? How would I check my email? There is so much stuff hooked to my computer I could wire a 3rd world nations. I am not kidding. Look for yourself... This is the area that my computer normally sits. It had been disconnected at this point.

Attached to my computer is (was) 3 printers, a monitor, keyboard, mouse, digital card reader, scanner, palm pilot docking port, Cable modem router, Vonage router, microphone, speakers, and USB hub. Now and iPod.

Of course if you will also please note the copious amounts of dirt and dust where the computer once sat. This sparked an unexpected allergy attack on my part. The frivolous use of canned air with in my exposed computer did not help the situation. So I had to retreat to the couch and leave my computer unsupervised. I really did start to worry when D made many trips to the garage for various tools and eventually a can of WD-40.

Needless to say my computer still works. The fan is a little noisy, hence the WD-40, but my iPod is just fantastic!! Now if I could just figure out how to make the photos run while the music is playing I would be a happy camper.
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*The TiVo required the purchase of 2 very expensive new cables to require one remote for the TV, cable box and sound. Veeeery long story.

Managing the adoption expense

2006-03-10T13:20:00.000-08:00

Funding an adoption is a difficult matter. I am sure many of you out there have looked at your significant other or someone in your life and said, "how the hell can we afford this?"

D did the same thing to me when I told him I felt the call to adopt. At that point I wasn't quite sure. I just knew this was something I had to do.

In my infinite research I started looking for anything and everything that would help. Loans are not really an option for us. I subscribed to a yahoo group about fundraising for adoption. Let me know if you want info on this one because this group is great! I also did my homework on grants. Ahh, the ever elusive "free" money.

I was lucky enough to find a list of available grants. There are approximately 52 organizations listed here. Of those 52 we qualify for 6. Yes, only 6. Actually it is 7, but D refuses to profess his belief in the "creation story." Anthropologist issues.

Last spring I dutifully filled out applications for these 6 grants. I received rejection letters from all but 1. We were fortunate enough to actually get a grant from an organization here in Washington. We are so thankful for their gift.

Anyway, as I find myself getting closer to bringing the boy home my thoughts turn again to the finances. With some odd luck and a whole lot of hard work we had managed to gather all the money needed to complete our adoption. Then came last September. Remember the day? When we heard that we would have to travel back to Russia to see 8 doctors. That put a little damper in the financial happy dance. So here we are. Needing money again. Shocking.

Today I revisited my list of grants. I was able to find one more that we qualify for. 1 that we had applied for, but the people we listed as references never sent their questionnaires back and one application that I have yet to send in.

My question is if there are over 50 agencies out there why do we only qualify for a piddly 6? Our advantage at the 6 is that we are Christian people. Of the 6, 3 are Christian organizations that require you to complete a faith statement or a salvation statement or some other God based form. What about those families that don't have a strong belief in God? Why are they excluded? Better yet... why am I excluded from applying because I am not adopting a special needs child? You can't tell me that my boy isn't going to have issues from living the first 2 years of his life in an orphanage.

Last year D and I made a commitment to each other. When this is all said and done we want to start our own grant foundation. We want to welcome all applicants. Doesn't matter what agency, what religion, what country you are adopting from, what nationality you are, what needs you feel you can handle as a parent or anything. EVERYONE. No more discrimination.

The Weekly Update

2006-03-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

Only 9 comments?! 9?! And 2 of those were from the same person!! Please oh Please don't make me go with the politics. With as many people that read this blog I am surprised at the number of people that don't comment. I won't bite I promise. Like how I am trying to guilt you into commenting? I'm special like that.

So without further ado... This week's update is brought to you by Jack's raging bile duct. So sue me. I need to watch a little of the Fight Club and Brad Pitt action.

When we last left our freaked out mom-to-be she was frantically obsessing over the mounting paperwork that was now once again required.

I have completed the necessary paperwork and a few additional things that have been added. Like new employment letters, a new financial form and I advised my special social worker that we needed a letter from DSHS.

As far as agency info goes, nothing can move forward until our facilitator in Khabarovsk has an actual hard copy of the accreditation certificate. She should have that by Monday.

On a troubling note, there is a new judge in town. We'll call her Judge Newbie. Judge Newbie is a little intimidated by proceeding over adoptions due to previous bad press. Let's just say that her first court hearing was a little longer than normal. The good news is we won't end up being her guinea pigs. She is quite green and is taking a little time at getting accustomed to the whole international adoption process. All in all the process is not expected to go as smoothly as it has in the past.

But you want to hear the best news ever!!! We were informed that by Monday we should have an update on the boy!! We are expecting to get height, weight, updated medical info and maybe even a photo. This is going to be the longest weekend of my life. I cannot wait. I bet my little guy looks like a toddler by now. Please Lord let him have hair. (the child was a bald as a cue ball in June)

So there you have it. A little bit of good news mixed in with the so-so news. I'll take what I can get at this point.

Coffee Talk: Parenthood

2006-03-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

For months I read the blog of one of blogging's greats. Soper. Ah how I miss you Soper. Soper is an infertile turned adoptive mom. She and her husband recently returned home from Kazakhstan with their baby girl Moonpie. A regular feature on her blog was Infertile Coffee Talk.

I have frequently threatened my readers with a politically charged debate, however I am not politically motivated at this point. Just wait until Presidential elections roll around. Then I will have something to say.

In honor of Soper and Coffee Talk I thought I would institute this feature here. This will be an opportunity for you numerous lurkers to come out of the woodwork. I thought I would start with something that was actually published as part of the Uterine Wars Coffee Talk.

Top 10 things I resolve to do as a parent.

1. I too will not throw elaborate birthday parties requiring me to purchase gifts for all small children in attendance. I did not get gifts at a friend's birthday party when I was a kid.

2. I will kick my child outside on nice days. Despite the fact that I watched way more Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street than the average child I did play outside on a regular basis.

3. I will give my child every opportunity to think for himself.

4. Much to my chagrin, if my son wants to play soccer I will let him. (don't think I won't try to talk him into hockey first)

5. I will make every attempt possible not to give in to whining. Even if this causes stink eye from the old ladies and other mommies in the grocery store.

6. I will expose my child to as many learning possibilities as he can handle.

7. I will be the adult in the house.

8. I will not be super sanitary mom. Boys are meant to get dirty.

9. I will make sure that we are a family first and foremost. I do not want our child to take over the relationship that D and I have worked for nearly 10 years to build.

10. I will strive to be the best mom I know that I can be.

I am very aware that there are resolutions that we make as a parent that fly right out the window as soon as our children come home. Many of these will probably fit into that category.

Your topic of discussion is to either complete your own list of resolutions as a parent or to inform those of us who are pre-children what resolutions you made that you did not keep. Post your feedback in the comments section. Don't be afraid please. I am sooo not a judgmental person and welcome everyone. You have until Thursday, 7:00 p.m. Pacific, time to post your thoughts since the Weekly Update gets posted at 7 on Thursdays.

I like being popular

2006-03-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

I was such a nerd in high school. I was the type of kid that hung out with the band geeks. I didn't play an instrument (although I tried to teach myself the flute once.) I was just that nerdy.

My secret squirrel stat counter informs me that there are a whole ton of you viewing our blog. Granted most of yesterday's count comes from D posting our blog address on adoption.com, but still. We had 138 unique visitors yesterday and our counter from June is over 11,000! Congrats to the person who was 10,000 by the way. I would have sent you a lovely prize for that, but I've got nothing. Would you like a cat?

So with 138 people visiting you would think that there would be more comments. Sure the content of the blog has been a little less than thrilling to comment on, but hey just leave us a note and introduce yourself. You really don't want me to whip out that politically charged debate do you?

I have nothing on the adoption front. So in the mean time I will tell you a little about Khabarovsk.

It is pronounced huh-BAR-ovsk. Not HA-ba-rosk. I know this because we have a very good friend that lives in this town. We were lucky enough to get to see her during our trip in June. Her name is Galina and she is ex soviet military turned humanitarian. She worked with a project called To Russia With Love in the mid 90's. My MIL worked with this project and that is how we met her*. We have a few other friends in Khab (Hahb) also.

Khab is a town of about 700,000 people. It is located in Far East Russia (not technically Siberia) right on the Chinese border. The Amur River separates China from Russia at this point. Khab sits right where the Vladivostock peninsula meets the mainland of Russia. The town is built on 3 big ridges. The 3 main streets run atop these ridges. If you wander off the main street (Amurskya Ulitsa) you have to go down a big hill and back up the other side to get to the next main street.

I absolutely love Khabarovsk. The people are very friendly, the main areas of town are quite clean and there are even a few little museums and places to visit. The people speak very little English, which can be difficult, but the ones who do speak English are often willing to translate for you.

One of the best parts is that there is a brand spankin' new hockey rink in town. It is called Platinum Arena. If you follow the Webcam #1 link you may be able to see a live shot of it. That camera doesn't seem to work all the time though. So for your viewing pleasure here is a photo from June. Leave it to the hockey player to find the rink in town. I am thinking I am going to have to sneak my skates into my suitcase for the next trip.

I will try to post more photos of town later. I have quite a few of them. Shocking.

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*Her meaning Galina, not my MIL. Just had to clarify that one.

The Real Deal

2006-03-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to AIA's website and a picture of their brand spankin' new certificate of accreditation. I can hardly believe it!

http://www.akadoptions.com/sub/certificate.html

It's Official!

2006-03-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

We told you last week that AIA had been notified of their reaccreditation and could pick up their certificate on March 6th. Well, the Russian MoE has updated their website and officially announced the agencies that have been reaccredited! This final step makes it 'real' for me. Here is the link to official website so you can see for yourself:

http://www.usynovite.ru/international/ru/foreign_agencies/

Yes, I know it's in Russian. You can scroll down to the very bottom of the page to see the most recent agencies. (the names are in English so you can read them)

Also a big congrats to all of our bloggy friends whose agencies have been reaccredited as well! Here's hoping for quick release letters (or in some cases, referrals) and travel dates very soon.

-D

The Weekly Update

2006-03-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

This week's update is brought to you by Girl Scouts of America. Wanna know why? Cause it is that time of year again! Go hunt yourself a Girl Scout today.

You would think that with the whole reaccreditation thing that I would have more to update you all on. However, until Olga has the "official" certificate in hand everything is tenative.

There are quite a few of us in the group and here is a run down of who is who and what are they waiting for.
Waiting for Court Dates:
Mary & Brian
Kathy & Eric
Michelle & Jack
Kim

Waiting for Release Letters:
Kathleen & Eric (affectionately called K&E)
Danielle & Jeff
Candy & Doug
Lisa
Us

Waiting for First Trip:
Jamie & Suzanne

Waiting for Referrals:
Rhonda & Brian
Cathy & Nick
Catherine
Cindy

(I apologize if some of you are married. I just don't know all the husband's names.)

So there are a few families that have tenative travel dates at the end of March. J&S are scheduled to travel at the beginning of April and the rest of us are still in the dark. That is about it for the weekly update. Now I will bore you of what paperwork is currently making me stupider. See, I said stupider. D's theory is correct.

This week I visited yet another new doctor and got her to write a letter stating that I am physically and mentally capable of raising a child. Little does she know! I also got our passports copied, the Commitment to register the child with the Russian consulate and the commitment to provide post placement reports finished. Now I have to work on completing the financial form for the home study without losing my mind causing the doctor to revoke that very nice letter she wrote. We also have to contact the oh so special social worker to get a letter from DSHS about the HS agency. We have to wade our way through the very scary people at the City building to get new police clearance letters and contact the WA state vital statistics office for a new copy of our marriage certificate. Then... go and have it all apostilled.

Aren't you jealous? Don't you wish you were me?

What was I going to say?

2006-03-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

As I lay in bed this morning at 2 a.m. wide awake I had this great idea for a post. I actually should have gotten up and written it. Because now that I am sitting in front of the computer I totally can't remember what I was going to write. I just have this problem with getting out of the bed in the middle of the night. I am a total insomniac, but I would rather lay in bed listening to D and the cats snore than get up and watch TV, use the computer or anything else. It sucks!

So since that whole adoption thing is moving forward I suppose I should really post about that. We are still in the throws of the paperwork nightmare. Our new concern is over the financial paperwork. One piece of paper gives an outline of your financial situation, another are employment letters from D's employer and one from our accountant for me. The last is the homestudy. All of the dollar amounts have to match. The problem is that D and I don't file our taxes until sometime in September. (we are procrastinators because we owe every year instead of get money back) Sooo, our original home study reflects earnings from 2003 & 2004. The employment letters and financial statement reflect earnings from 2004. It took us about a month to get it all figured out last July so it jived. Well now that we have to have the stinkin' home study update it won't match anymore. But our employment letters and financial form don't expire until July. And of course D was a straight commission sales person so our "salary" is never the same. In other words, he made less last year than the year before.

Now I have to go through all of our tax info to find out exactly how much we did make, let the coordinator know and find out what to do about the paperwork. The other issue is that D's employment letter has to come from Wisconsin. Of course then it has to be apostilled in the state of Wisconsin. Fortunately, in WI you don't send the original document to the Sec. of State., so the HR guy tells us who the notary is, we mail off the request and attach it to the document ourselves.

Doesn't this all sound so confusing? Trust me it is. If you or someone you love is considering an international adoption please asses your (or their) organizational skills. If all parties involved in the adoption are disorganized procrastinators please reconsider. I tell you this because I care. Really, this too is a public service.

Never take an adoption "break"

2006-02-28T09:12:00.000-08:00

Up until mid September we were busy with different bits of paperwork. When we came home in June we had a whole second set of paperwork to do. When that was finished the Russians changed the rules and we had to have a new Certificate of Residency. Sounds simple, but you try getting a very specific letter typed on Chase Manhattan letterhead and notarized! That took about 2 months. Once we were finished with the CoR there was nothing.

Essentially we have taken an adoption break for the last 5 months. No paperwork, no shelling out any money... nothing. Last Wednesday we were hit with the realization that we have some serious paperwork to re-do. Unfortunately according to the "laws" of international adoption paperwork expires. Don't ask me how a marriage certificate expires, but it does. Here we are thrust back into the paperwork nightmare.

The first order of business was our homestudy. We had to get a 2-3 page update on our homestudy. That is actually a story I will let D tell in the Stupidity blog. It is that good. Our Social Worker informed us that we need letters from our doctor stating that we were in good health and competent to raise an adopted child. Easier said than done in this house. I changed docs this last fall because our old doctor is not the best in the world. When I called the clinic to get New Doc to write this letter the lady kindly informs me that New Doc has moved out of the state. Great. Also, since D has never been into the clinic they can't write his letter and won't be able to see him until March or April. Well that won't do. D either has to go back to Dr. Not so Hot or to a local walk in clinic for a basic physical. He gets to make the call on that one.

Then, I get an email from our coordinator this morning listing all the other paperwork that is expiring. Marriage certificate (that we have to pay to get), copies of passports (they are printed when the expire! in 10 years!), new police clearance letters (at $20 a shot), and other miscellaneous items. She also breaks the bad news that there is yet another NEW piece of paperwork required. A letter from our state Department of Health and Social Services stating that our homestudy agency is licensed to write post-placement reports and is in good standing. Have you heard the horror stories about WA State DSHS? Hopefully I can pin this one on the Social Worker since he is the one that works with the homestudy agency.

Of course it is not enough that we have to re-do all of this paperwork, but it all has to be apostilled* again. At $15 a page the cost can mount. When we had our initial dossier apostilled I wrote a check fro $321. I think it will be around $150 this time, but still.

Now try throwing all of this paperwork re-do in the mix with the various other things I volunteered for to keep myself busy. Sure... you all said L get out of the house. Get away from the computer. I DID. I volunteered for all kinds of things. I am helping out with the Women's World Day of Prayer that is this Friday, I am doing all the sets and costumes for our church production of Godspell (that is in a month), I am on the youth and family ministry team and we are putting on the Shrove Tuesday Pancake Feast tonight and I took a part time job as our church secretary. Couple that with trying to complete stacks of paperwork and you've got yourself one freaked out lady.

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*apostille: a notary of the notary; a state seal stating that the person that notarized a document is a notary in good standing.

I'm gonna be a Mom

2006-02-25T17:02:00.000-08:00

Today brings a little less of the freaking out. I still have no clue what to do with this thing when it arrives. Like what do you feed it and what do you do if it cries. Most people gradually evolve into toddler parenting. But not us Buddy. Bam!! Instant Destructo-Kid. My house will never be the same. I am not sure if I am prepared for that. I guess it is a little too late at this point though.

On a totally different subject... How do you know when you have the best husband in the world? Well I'll tell you. When you are driving down the road trying to figure out what to do for the day and your husband turns to you and says, "Well we could go to the mall and get you an outfit for court." This is nearly as good as him giving permission to purchase the handbag you have always wanted. You know the one. The one in the locked glass case that if you have to ask how much it costs you can't afford it. Yeah just like that.

D is the best. He is one of the rarest of the male species. He actually likes to shop. We can thank his sisters for this one. He has 2 older sisters. Thanks Lee and G. Pretrained shopping males are very hard to come by. D is the stereotypical Metro-sexual. He loves to shop!!! Bonus for me. Back off ladies! He's mine and there is no way I am giving him up!!! EVER!!!

During this shopping extravaganza I did manage to get myself an outfit for court. I am not much of the suit kind of girl. I have no occasion to wear them. So I ended up with a tweed partially pleated skirt in a dark plum, a sleeveless light plum blouse and a light sweater in dark plum also. The outfit looks quite nice. It has been deemed by the shopping male to be suitable for court. I asked if he thought the judge would give me the child if I wore this. He thought she would.

Now what?

2006-02-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

First... I am totally freaking out! I went through this stage about 8 months ago. It is inconceivable to think that I could be responsible for another human life. Have you seen the pile of clothes next to my bed?

I look around our house and see all of the stuff that still needs to be completed. More baby latches, clean all of our junk out of A's room, and get a ton of stuff that little people need. We have nothing!!!

So you probably are asking why can't we just jump on a plane and go get the guy. It all boils down to waiting for more paper. During the arduous 8 months, things they were a changin' in the former Soviet Union. First the MoE decided they weren't going to give any more release letters* to clients whose agencies were not accredited. Second, the regular judge in Khabarovsk went on vacation in September. During her holiday another judge presided over adoption hearings. This judge decided to start enforcing a law that had previously been overlooked. He said that adoptive parents must complete a medical evaluation by 8 different Russian doctors. He would not schedule any court dates without this little piece of paperwork.

This meant bad news for us professional waiters. Those stuck in between trips would be required to make an additional 3rd trip to Khabarovsk (or Moscow) to complete this medical form. THEN the judge would schedule the court date.

Here are the following scenarios on getting A home:

#1. Once our Russian facilitator has the Certificate of Accreditation in hand she will then reapply for our release letter. It will take about a month for that piece of paper to come from Moscow. Once we have our release letter we will be able to fly to Khabarovsk for our medical exams (it is too expensive to do it in Moscow). Once in Khab we will get poked and prodded by 8 different docs. The good news is we will get the chance to see A.** We then fly home, sans child and wait for a court date.

#2. The release letter timeline is still the same, but the trips are different here. Depending on the timelines for the families who already have release letters, we might get to take one long trip. There is a break even point. Anything less than 26 days it is cheaper to stay in Khabarovsk than to fly home. Derek's boss has said that as long as he is able to work (has an internet connection) he will not have to take vacation time. So theoretically we could pull a Melissa and Jason and live overseas for 6 or 7 weeks. The bonus is I wouldn't have to leave A a second time. This would be a big life saver on my sanity.

I am voting for option #2, but I am scared to death of living in Russia for almost 2 months. Best case scenario we will travel for our medical trip at the end of March, beginning of April and then wait about 4 weeks for a court date.

So the reaccreditation was a good thing, but alas we are still waiting.

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* release letter: piece of paperwork releasing A from the Federal Data bank.
All Russian orphans are put on a federal data bank for 6 months and a regional data bank for 2 or 3 months (I can't remember how long exactly) Prospective adoptive parents must sign a piece of paper stating they wish to adopt this child and for that child to be released from the federal data bank making them eligible for international adoption.

The long awaited update

2006-02-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

I know this week's update should be brought to you by some fancy champagne, but really we can't afford fancy champagne. So this week's update is brought to you by the makers of "Never Freeze Ink"*.

First I want to say thank you to all of you who posted comments and sent emails of congratulations. It really did feel good. Celebrate for us, but please keep the prayers coming for Margaret and Jen. They need your strength right now.

So I bet you are all dying to know how the whole day went down. Thank God for ECD! I wrote the earlier post and then went to do other things. I happened to randomly sit down and check my email and there was one from our coordinator. I really wish I had a video of this moment. It was like something out of a cartoon. I stared at the computer. Stared, stared and then I became a blubbering idiot as if in slow motion. I called D and he thought something was terribly wrong. I asked if he could come home for the day and I told him why. He said he would be on his way.

I spent the remainder of the morning on the phone calling everyone. Moms, grandparents, friends, work. I was so excited I was shaking!

D got home and we hugged and cried. (ok, I cried, but I had been doing that for about 30 minutes already) We called more people and then tried to figure out what to do to celebrate. We both had some work to finish. We spent a little time finishing up what really needed to be done (so hard to concentrate) and then we were off.

Where did we go? Well... 2 expensive 4 U** is where we went. What self respecting person wouldn't. We updated our registry list, because if I were actually pregnant I would be competing with an elephant at this point. This is the 2nd time my "due date" has been changed. We scoured the store looking for a hockey jersey. None to be found. So what did we buy for A? Hangers. We are going to be terrible parents. We have waited almost 9 months for this day and we buy hangers.

D, however, had the grand idea to blow some money (that we really don't have) on something for us. We have not spent a dime on ourselves in a very loooooong time. His idea was a couple of iPods. Neato huh? Up until the sticker heart attack I was all for this. I really did know how much they were, but I don't think I was prepared to actually spend it. I just couldn't justify spending that much on something totally frivilous. (this coming from the woman who carries a designer handbag)

We marched around the store in silence and out the door sans iPods. D looks at me in the car and says, "I'm disappointed, but you are right." The man really wants and iPod. Of course so do I.

After the iPod debacle we head toward home. I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning out A's closet and putting those hangers to good use. Around 5:30 D's parents show up so we can go to our Celebratory Dinner. This is where the fun starts.

We ate dinner at Stanley and Seafort's. It is a local restaurant much like McCormick and Schmick's. We had drinks, a fantastic meal, more drinks and best yet... dessert! This joint makes the best Key Lime pie in the world!!! I love Key Lime Pie. I am not much of a dessert eater, but this couldn't be missed. It was a fantastic evening. Thanks M&D for dinner!

Once home we played A's movie. D made this awesome video from our first trip. It has photos and videos all set to music. I can't tell you how many times I have watched it. Last night it was extra special.

So the day wasn't as huge as it could have been, but we got to spend the day together. With us that is all that counts really.

I have so many more posts running around in my head, but I will hold off for now. Like D said, "hold on A, momma and daddy are coming!"

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*For the story of Never Freeze Ink Click here

**2 Expensive 4 U is the secret name of Babies R Us as dubbed by Lauri

The Day We've Been Waiting For

2006-02-22T13:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is right. We received word from our agency today that they have been notified by the MoE that they have been reaccredited to work in Russia! We can hardly believe it. After all this time it seems surreal to us. Our agency will have their certificate 'in hand' on March 6th. We are SO excited that I can hardly put it into words. It has been a long 8 months to wait but now things are finally moving forward. We want to thank everyone for their kind words, thoughts and prayers. We could never had made it through this without you. Keep those prayers coming for a quick turn around on our release letter. Here is hoping that we can get A home around Easter. We'll update the blog as we get more information about release letters and travel dates for our medical trip. We're really bouncing off the walls at this point and going out tonight to celebrate this amazing news! Hang in there A, momma and daddy are coming soon!

Unloading

2006-02-22T09:22:00.000-08:00

Things have been moving forward in the adoption world, but not for us. I first want to preface all of this by saying that I am truly happy for all of those who have received good news in the past few weeks. You have all been my friends and support through this wait and for that I will be forever grateful. To let the remaining readers in on the good news outside of our house here it is.

Gaye and Andrew received their official referral this week. They will be traveling March 11th to meet Roman, an 11 month old little boy in Kalingrad Russia. They have waited since August for their referral, so this was a long time coming. Go on over to their site and send them a big congratulations!

Lauri and John got word today of a March 14th court date. They had expected to wait at least 4 weeks for a court date. This was very fast! Lauri will have her dream come true of her daughter in her arms by St. Patrick's Day. Please congratulate them too.

In our little world there is no news. And please trust me when I tell you that when we do have news you will know. You will be able to hear me on every corner of this earth. Mary-Mia summed it up the best. The best thing you can do for us is to not ask. We know this is difficult. We know that you ask because you care, but at this point we don't have the emotional strength to talk about it right now.

What we would really like are comments like, "I am sorry you are having to go through this." or "I am not going to ask, just know that my prayers are with you everyday." Follow this up by a hug. Of course if you do this please expect a very long hug and a very wet shoulder. (at least from me)

Despite my overwhelming joy for those who did receive good news I can't help but feel raging jealousy. Both D and I are having a bout with the "it's not fair" right now. How can you pray and pray and pray for a child just to have your prayers go unanswered? How can you watch it be so easy for those around you.

Just for the record this is what we have encountered in the past 12 months.

Fertile family member #1 brings home an adopted baby girl to add more estrogen to her house.
Fertile friend #1 gave birth to a healthy, but premature baby girl.
Fertile friend #2 gave birth to a healthy and adorable baby boy
Fertile friend #3 gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
Infertile friend #1 brought home a domestically adopted baby after starting the adoption process after us.
Infertile friend #2 receives a referral for an adorable baby girl.
Fertile friend #4 becomes pregnant with child #2 before child #1 is 1 year old.
Fertile family member #2 gives birth to a healthy baby boy.
Infertile friend #3 receives a referral for a wonderful baby boy.
Infertile friend #2 receives a court date to bring home the adorable little girl.

That's a lot of babies huh? I am happy for every single one of those mothers. I have dutifully gone out and purchased a gift or made something for nearly every one of them. My heart is warmed knowing that all of these children have mothers who I respect with every fiber of my being. But at the same time I am jealous. and I believe I have the right to be jealous.

I have watched the excitement mount around these women. I have heard people ohh and ahh over round swollen bellies. I remember the excitement that surrounded us when we got the referral for Alexander. The tears that were shed. The butterflies in our stomachs as we prepared to fly 1/2 way around the world to meet him. And I watched that excitement fade. It became like this gray stain. Something that lingers over us. Long gone are the days of the baby blue bibs and the rattles. Quickly approaching are the days of matchbox cars and a crib that will be obsolete. A crib that has never been slept in.

I remember every holiday last year. I remember saying, "next year we will be able to buy him is first little Easter outfit." Easter will likely come and go with no A.

Please know that I am not in that deep dark place of a few weeks ago. I am actually happy. I have disconnected myself from the rumor mill. I have spent the majority of my days away from the computer (except for the occasional ECD flare up.) I am being a productive member of society. But underneath it all is this feeling of "it's not fair."

I kindly ask that you don't bring up the adoption. Please don't tell me you understand unless you are right there with me, going through the same thing, or have gone through it before. Just tell me you are sorry or that you are praying for us. And... I can always be comforted with a coffee, an order for a quilt, or the offer to take me to a plant nursery. And as for D, take him out for a beer. He'd like that.

Welcome baby Lucas!

2006-02-20T16:21:00.000-08:00

My mom called me today to tell me that my cousin Kate gave birth to her son Lucas. Of course I think Kate had the baby a few weeks ago. It took my mom that long to call. This is not because my mom just never got around to it, she was trying to spare my feelings.

D and I had a conversation about this a few weeks ago. I knew Kate was due at the middle to end of January. I thought it was rather strange that no one had called to tell me. I told D I was a little torn over this one. I wasn't sure if I was irritated that no one called to tell me or if I was happy. The happiness would be from the realization that my family actually acknowledges the fact that I am not in a good place right now. The whole mention of babies, other people having them and me not kinda puts me a little over the edge at this point. My mom really struggled with telling me that Lucas was now part of our family. She didn't want to see me hurt, but at the same time she didn't want me to feel left out of the family.

I am very happy for Kate and Juan! My mom did send me photos (with my permission of course) and he really is a beautiful little boy. There is a photo of him with his daddy and it is just enough to melt your heart. Over 10 pounds too! What a big boy!

So... congrats to the Estrada family on their new addition!! I wish you didn't live so dang far away! Rhode Island is a little far to go just for some baby sniffin'.

Protesting Stupidity

2006-02-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let everyone know about my new ranting blog. L convinced me that I needed to start a blog to protest the stupidity of the world. SO here it is:

Protesting Stupidity

I can't promise how often I will update it. But when something strikes me as totally stupid and needs to be pointed out, I'll do it. Consider it a public service.

Six degrees of Chicken

2006-02-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

I am aware that it is Thursday and that many of you are expecting the weekly update. Well I hate to break it to you. This week's update is brought to you by none other than fried chicken.

There is no news.

On with the rest of the post...

I know the last thing you want to hear is more about chicken. But talk about scary coincidence. I read the comments on a lot of people's blogs (don't ask, it's better that way). I followed a profile on a comment on Rhonda's Blog to Liv's blog and from Liv's blog I followed a profile to Twirl's blog*. Upon a little reading I found this post on Twirl's blog. I am not going to link the actual post because it actually mentions the name of NFCPR and since this household is evidently Protesting their stupidity I think it is best that, at Adoption Adventure, they remain nameless**.

where hungry people like to eat
After a long day of house and yard work yesterday, P really wanted NFCPR for dinner. Even though I had specifically shopped for weekend food, I knew he was proud of himself for all that he'd gotten done and I gave him the green light to go get takeout for himself.

After being gone for about 30 minutes he returned empty handed.

"They're out of chicken."

"huh?"

"They're out. of chicken. out."

"How can they be out of chicken?"

"I don't know. They just are."

Yeah, he was a wee bit cranky.

They may or may not have biscuits and mashed potatoes. They're likely out of honey (though if they are, they will give you grape jelly packets if you bitch.) The sad moral of this story is not to count on National Fried Chicken Parts Retailer to actually have chicken to sell. Even though it's in their name.

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*Oddly enough I did not find Kevin Bacon in this process.

**The name of NFCPR has been changed to please D

Up on a Soapbox...

2006-02-15T11:22:00.000-08:00

Rant, Rant, Rant.

WARNING: This post will get ALL of you worked up.

There are few things in this world that get me worked up to the point of furious. Yes, I tend to be a little imaginative in my description of the world as I see it and yes, I do happen to get in a twitter over things of little significance to others. However, I just can't hold this in anymore.

There seems to be this whole underworld of people who are actually anti-adoption. They claim that adoption should be the last resort a mother should take. They say that children are wrongfully taken from their "true mothers." Agencies supposedly coerce young women into giving up their children. Some even go so far as to say the agencies only do this for profit.

Can you believe this?! People also think that those who are unable to produce biological offspring are truly not meant to be parents!! They believe that an adoptive parent is unable to provide the same nurturing environment that a "true mother" can. And they use that term, "true mother."

Are these the same people who think that a woman with no money and no job, living on welfare should actually parent a child. A young teenage girl who accidentally gets pregnant and has her whole life ahead of her should drop out of high school to raise a child? The young college pre-law student who gets raped at a party and ends up pregnant should throw her dreams out the window?

What about these children? The woman who is a crack whore and gets pregnant everytime she turns around. She has lost count of how many babies she has. She can't afford to feed them because all her money goes to drugs. You think this woman should keep her baby? Or in the one smart moment this woman has she decides to give her child up for adoption and give this child a chance at a life instead of repeating what he sees his mother do.

Upon further reading these anti-adoption persons seem to be women who had in fact given up a child for adoption. My heart breaks for them. I can't believe they feel so bitter as to promote gross generalizations about the adoption world.

Without adoption I would not have my mom. The woman who raised me, who cared for me, who kissed my boo-boos and who would give her life for me. Without adoption my cousin would not have her little girl. And mostly without adoption I would not have Alexander.

My mom endured labor of the heart. The fear that some lady had control over her and could come take her little girl at any moment. My mother was set to run. I love her for that. I couldn't be more grateful for that. My mom will never give up on me and I will never give up on my mom.

I love the woman who carried me. I won't call her my mom, my bio-mom, my birth mom or any other term as such. This woman loved me so much to know that she couldn't provide the life that I deserved. So she gave me up. I will forever be grateful for the girl that carried A. She knew she too could not provide this little boy with a life he deserved. She will always hold a place of honor in my heart.

So BAH on all of the anti-adoption freaks out there. I am sorry you are so bitter.

More on Chicken

2006-02-14T11:53:00.000-08:00

or is it moron chicken? I'll go with the latter.

I never in a million years would have thought that our blog would digress to such poor writing as to speak of chicken. If I had a way to upload video I would give you the video our JR high kids took from the Halloween party. I am not kidding when I tell you there is 5 minutes of one of the girls eating none other than... chicken.

Saturday D and I were driving to one of our favorite local burger joints for lunch. On the way there was a group of young people (let's call them hippies) protesting the aforementioned NFCPR. Now I know that this particular chain has irritated me in the past, but it is not enough to actually protest. Upon closer inspection the signs the hippies were toting displayed graphic cartoons of chickens being killed. One of the female hippies held a sign stating "Go Vegan." They were actually protesting because NFCPR sold meat! I would have loved to stop and ask them their source stating that NFCPR was in fact cruel to their chickens.

So this morning D and I were having a conversation about NFCPR. We have determined that, addictive ingredient or not, I can never again have chicken from this place. D informed me that he is not protesting them because they are cruel to chicken, he is protesting them because they are stupid.

D is now on a campaign against stupidity. He finds that it will be impossible to rid the world of the stupidity, he is just going to point it out. I told him he just needed to start his own blog that consists of all of his rants about stupidity. Even if people don't read it, I would. His stories are hilarious and I need a pick me up on occasion.

How do you run out of chicken?

2006-02-13T09:39:00.000-08:00

Two Sundays per month, L and I are in charge of High School youth group at the church. Since we start at 6:30pm we provide dinner for the kids. So as we are driving around Seattle yesterday, we begin the discussion that we have every time we have youth group... "So" I say, "What are we going to feed the kids tonight?" L says, "I don't know... chicken?" The discussion then moves on to where to acquire said chicken (fried in this case). The choices come down to local mega-mart or national fried chicken parts retailer (NFCPR). We don't come to any particular decision until driving to get said chicken. As we're passing the local mega-mart, L says "I thought you were going there?" But, no, I decided to go to NFCPR.

Now mind you that they are in the middle of renovating the local outlet of NFCPR, so when we pull up the whole building is covered in plastic wrap and has scaffolding all over the place. But it's fine, so we head on in. The discussion ensues about how much chicken we need to satisfy 8-12 hungry teenagers. We decide on the 20 piece with all the fixins. So we head up to the counter to place our order... "We would like a 20 piece meal deal, please." Now you would think that as the words came out of my mouth that I simultaneously grew a second head by the look I got from the order taking monkey (OTM). Evidently right before we got there, word had spread that there might be a chicken shortage and there was a run on fried chicken (or something). Yes, that's right, they were OUT OF CHICKEN! How do you run out of chicken? You only sell ONE product! CHICKEN! I mean it's in the name of the restaurant! And the OTM looked so put-out that we would have the audacity to come into NFCPR and order such a large amount of chicken. I wanted to say "I'm sorry for ordering so much of the product that your chain exists to sell." And of course by this time we were going to be late so there was no time to leave and go somewhere else. So we had to wait a good 10-15 minutes while they made more of just about everything. Chicken, biscuits, gravy... You name it, they were out. I guess that what you get when you hire people who don't think past their next company allotted smoke break.

To add insult to injury, when we finally got to the church and I started unpacking our fried chicken feast... they shorted us one order of mashed potatoes!

I hate you NFCPR.

Phone company wars

2006-02-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

I have an arch rival. Major phone company (#1 & #2)

A few years ago D decided to sign up for some fancy new package plan that MPC #1 was offering. You know, one of those deals that if you sign up you can get 3 months of 1/2 price DSL. About 6 months after signing up we get a phone message from the MPC #1 saying to call them because they don't want to lose us as a customer. Not knowing exactly what they were talking about I called back. They claim that D called to cancel our phone and DSL. I actually can't remember why D did call the phone company, but it was not to cancel our service. I explained to them that we did not want to cancel. In the process of this little phone conversation the monkey at the phone company then tried to tell me that we hadn't paid our DSL bill in over 6 months. Now the DSL charges come on the phone bill so if I paid the phone bill I obviously would have paid the DSL. I looked through my statements and sure enough MPC #1 had not charged me for DSL in 6 months. I called MPC #1 back and showed them their error. I said that I would appreciate it if they would start charging me and please do not turn off my internet. The monkey assured me that our internet would not be turned off.

A few days later I tried to get onto the internet to do none other than buy hockey tickets. Lo and behold... my internet did not work. Shocking! I snatched up the phone and dialed MPC #1. I got monkey #2. I explained the situation and he assured me that there was no mistake and that we had not paid our DSL bill. Can you feel the rage building? Not only was this monkey telling me I was wrong, he was standing in my way of hockey tickets! I asked to speak to his supervisor. I was put on perma-hold. Of course to make matters worse I had phoned MPC #1 from my home phone, but had to leave to pick D and his dad up from the airport. I was so close to speaking with Middle Management Monkey #1, but I had to hang up and go.

MPC #1 was so adamant that I was wrong the never turned my DSL back on. D ended up switching our service to another provider. I wrote a nasty letter to MPC #1, copied the BBB, but never received a reply. To this day they are on my *hit list.

Fast forward about a year. My shear hate for MPC #1 grew to the point of disgust. I made the executive decision one day to switch to MPC #2. These people were fantastic. So polite on the phone. I loved them. I went as far as to recommend them to people. This proved to be a bad move. The in-laws signed up with MPC #2 also. I can't remember what happened, but they did something to piss my FIL off. And that doesn't happen very often. D definitely gets his calmness from his dad.

When D and I bought our house I went through the usual motions of switching the power, gas and phone. I called MPC #2 and stated my desire to move my service to my new residence. They informed me that it would take 6 weeks to move our service. 6 WEEKS?! How hard is it to push a few buttons and move the service. They informed me that I could get service with them faster if I cancelled my existing service, signed up with MPC #1 and then switched that service to MPC #2. Sound complicated? It was.

The first day we lived in our new home I called up MPC #2 to have my service switched back to them. They said no problem and did the deed. A month later I got a bill in the mail from MPC #2. Being the studious bill payer I can be on occasion I wrote my little check and mailed off the bill. Being the uber flake that I am, it didn't occur to me that something was amiss when another bill arrived 2 weeks later. Again, I wrote a check. Now I said I was a flake, not stupid. So when the 3rd bill arrived in a matter of a month I knew something was up. Sure enough the account numbers on bill #1 and bill #2 did not match. Bill #2 had the account number from our old phone.

I picked up the telephone and called MPC #2. I explained their mistake and they had the audacity to also tell me I was wrong. Lucky for them they were not standing between me and a hockey game. They claimed I never cancelled the old phone. I informed them of their mistake and asked to be given a credit for this bill and please cancel this account. MPC #2 monkey assured me it would be taken care of.

The next month arrives and along with it 2 bills from MPC #2. I go through the process of calling them, telling them their mistake and asking for the credit. They oblige.

The next month arrives, so does another bill. 3 months people... 3 months. I have called them, they have given me the credit, but they are really starting to annoy me.

When it happens for the 4th month... what happens? Does L turn into a raving lunatic? (the L of today would have reached through the phone and ripped off the ear of the jack ass on the other end) The L of then calmly called up MPC #2 and explained their error like they were a feakin' 2 year old! Apparently this is what it took. After that I only received one bill and better yet the next month... I got a $72 credit that they sent me in error.

Now the honest person would have sent the check back with a note stating that they sent this in error. But would I? Noooooo. I cashed that baby!

Oddly enough I remained a customer of MPC #2 for another 2 years. I didn't really have anywhere else to go. Until the holy grail of the communication system came along. Voice over IP. Why didn't I just use our cell phones and cancel our home phone all together you ask? I hate the cell phone company just as much as MPC #1 & #2.

Voice over IP is the best thing since... well since hockey. It took a while to get set up, but once we had it, golden my friends, golden. The only drawback is our phone is dependent on the internet. If we have an internet outage, we have no phone. Of course we do have cell phones and so it doesn't matter as much.

There you have it. The reason I hate Major Phone Companies so much.

Happy Dancing around the house!

2006-02-11T14:11:00.000-08:00

Again... No, we did not get the piece of paper. I find it strange that I have to preface good news for me with "It is not THE news." Funny.

WE ARE GETTING TIVO!!! Yes we live in the stone age. We do not yet have Tivo, but come Monday we will be cool like that. Of course technically it is just a DVR and not real Tivo brand Tivo, but I don't freakin' care!

I think I am the only citizen of this country who actually likes the winter Olympics. Why do I like the winter games? Ye have no clue do you. If you don't know you haven't been paying attention very well. I will spell it out for you H-O-C-K-E-Y. Olympic hockey rocks. I get to watch all of my favorite players play for their own countries, on bigger ice, with better rules. Something this good only comes around every, say... 4 YEARS. The women start today, but the men start on Wednesday. So come Wednesday, normally I would be glued to my television. But now... I have TIVO!! I can record the entire tournament and replay things like the nasty crosscheck Jager didn't get called for in Salt Lake. Ohhh, life is good.

So you want to know the real reason for the Tivo? Tuesday nights we have handbell choir. Tuesday night television is host to Commander and Chief and The Amazing Race at the same time. Of course both on when we are not home. We only have 1 VCR. Can't record both! Hence the Tivo.

TV doesn't dictate our lives... not at all.

Secretly I like curling too, but shhh, don't tell anyone!

Weekly Update

2006-02-09T19:55:00.000-08:00

This week's update brought to you by Elle Wear. Show your support for the Peruvian Burros today!

Well... there really isn't any news. I will pull the Rumsfeld card again and say, "we don't know when, we don't know how, but the Russians will reaccredit our agency."
I don't really want to play into the hands of the rumor mill these days. There is no real definition of spring. We don't know it if will be in spring or before spring. So really... we just don't know.

That is the gist of it.

So go buy your Peruvian Burro T-shirt today!! Show your support and get a lot of weird looks in the process. We will start adding a few more funnies to the line, but for now Burros for everyone!

Only 1 more box of chocolates before Valentines! We will do another batch for Easter and maybe some carmels too. I could sit down and eat a whole pan of those!!! For those who did order chocolates, I will be sending them Priority mail tomorrow morning. They should arrive on your doorstep in time for you Valentine's sweethearts. Thanks everyone for your support.

What does it mean?

2006-02-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

The JCICS issued this statement yesterday:

The Russian Ministry of Education has issued reaccreditation certificates to four agencies in the US. Two of these agencies are JCICS member agencies and are listed at the bottom of this page. The Ministry has also informed the US Embassy in Moscow that there are a number of additional agencies under consideration to be reaccredited in the Spring of 2006.

Of course we are all trying to figure out exactly what the statement means. Are they talking about the agencies whose accreditation expires this spring or has the MOE stopped pulling names out of the Asshat? Or is the MOE going to allow new agencies to be accredited. I know of at least one agency that is considering reapplying for Russian adoptions after taking a very long hiatus.

I did take the time to email our coordinator to find out what her take on the whole thing is. I haven't heard back yet, but seeing as it is raining I will be sitting on top of the computer all day.

My other task of the day is to box up the chocolates! They are officially finished!!! We ended up with around 24 dozen. That is a whole lot of truffles. We have sold 18 boxes so far. 6 more to go! If you want a box please go HERE and order one before they are all gone. I am here to tell you they are delicious. Trust me. I have licked my fingers (then washed my hands) more than my fair share in the past 5 days.

I want to say a gigantic thank you to all of you who purchase chocolates. Funny thing is that it has been other pre-adoptive parents that have done the buying. We are all supposed to be poor! We both appreciate your support more than you know.

I am still working on the "Free the Peruvian Burros" T-shirts. I hope to have those available by the end of this week.

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Update:

I did get an email from our facilitator that was a long winded way of saying she doesn't know. She has no clue on what the MoE means by spring. She is being optimistic that they will continue to pull names out of the asshat. Although Olga isn't privy to us actually calling it the asshat.

We are trying to remain positive throughout this process. I have to say this is nearly the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Of course no one ever said having kids was easy.

We are taking a few measures to try to regain what is left of our sanity. D is checking out of all the message boards. In other words he is not going to read them anymore. I think I might be right behind him. The rumor mill and boo hoo woe is me crap is grating on my last nerve.

I also feel that I am no longer emotionally equipped to answer the, "so have you heard any news question." I am very aware that people ask only because they care, but there are only so many times in a day that I can say I don't know before I completely lose it. This is not for my protection, but for yours. If I get one more person that makes some stupid comment or offers their assvice about how to get through this I will "shove sausages down their throat and hungry dogs up their butt." You want to know why I don't want to answer this question anymore? Read this post and you will know.

In the mean time, please continue to pray that this will all be resolved and quickly. This reaccreditation thing effects more people than you may realize. We appreciate all of your support. We know we are stronger people for going through this, but sometimes the strong need to be held up too.

A plea

2006-02-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

This is a plea to those of you who read our blog and who have adopted from Ukraine. On Friday Feb. 3rd the JCICS issued a press release stating that the Ukrainian government will likely suspend all adoptions by American citizens until ALL post placement reports have been completed. There are nearly 900 post placement reports that have not been completed by adoptive parents since 1996.
When you adopted your child from Ukraine you made a commitment to furnish these reports to the Ukrainian government. The actions of these families is having repercussions on waiting families. Think back to the time when you were waiting. Remember the stress and anguish? That is what is happening to families now.
Children deserve loving homes. There are families waiting right now to take these children home. If you or someone you know has not filed their post placement reports please take a moment to do so. This goes for any of you who have adopted from any other country. It does not take that much time. Please.

For Sale

2006-02-04T20:12:00.000-08:00

1 Fat Gray Cat

This cat is great! She will claw your suede shoes and puke on any rug in your house. She will sleep on your legs and pin you in the bed. She has the knack of finding the hiding place of the clean towels and proceeds to sleep on them. She will clean your kitchen floor of any remaining food debris. And best of all she will ruin your beautiful hardwood floors! Yes, I am taking bids for the fat kitty.

I went to grab something off the kitchen table this morning and felt something strange with my foot. At closer inspection I realized that my beautiful hardwoods are puckered by one of the dining room chairs. This just happens to be the spot where D and I frantically cleaned up a water spill a few days earlier. You see... the fat kitty had gotten onto the table and knocked over the vase that had flowers in it. She of course did this while we were gone and Lord only knows how long that water sat on the floor. Evidently it was long enough for it to soak into the wood! Now I have a big spot of raised wood and I am just heartbroken.

My floors are the pride and joy of my home. I like my garden, but I LOVE my floors. They are the most beautiful red oak you have ever seen. They are done with the short boards, not the long ones. My uncle won't even install the short ones. They are original to the house and we found them under the most god awful blue carpet. My uncles came and refinished them. With one swipe of the sander I knew I had struck gold! Ever since then I have been so careful with my floors. I clean them regularly and even say nice things to them. When I felt the destruction this cat had done to them I literally sat down and cried.

Now if I get any comment from anyone who says "oh, this is just preparing you for when the boy comes..." I will slap you two ways from Saturday!!!! The boy can be supervised. The cat cannot. I have the control to clean up after the boy when he spills his juice on the floor. When the cat knocks over a vase when we are out at the grocery, well I can't do anything about it.

So... I am taking bids. Anyone want a fat gray cat? She'll eat more than her fair share of cat food and sit on your lap and purr.

Actually I can't sell the cat. She is just too damn cute. Besides, anyone who buys her would just bring her back after a few days anyway. She's just that special!

Weekly update

2006-02-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

First I want to thank all of our bloggy friends for you wonderful words of encouragement. The comments and emails I received made the light a little brighter.
For the record I am still in a bit of a funk. The good news is that I do actually shower everyday and manage to get at least one productive thing done. Today's big outing is ice skating with our Jr. High kids from church. They are a great bunch of kids and of course anytime I get to lace up my skates I have to smile. I am looking forward to it.

This week's update is brought to you by my raging hate for multicity.com.

MultiCity is the company that AIA uses to facilitate our Thursday night chat group. It is an application built in to the AIA web site. Promptly at 6:00 last night we tried to log on to the chat and got a message indicating that MultiCity has some kind of new tool box and the chat won't work. At 6:01 my phone rings. It is Kathleen. Also in a panic. She frantically emails Olga to find out what is going on. Olga has no clue and is very miffed "that they would do this to a paying customer." So no hosted AIA chat. We scramble about to try and find another meeting place. So we hijack an adoption.com chat room and try to get the rest of the group there. We ended up with 4 or 5 families there. Unfortunately by this time it is about 6:40. Kathleen had already gotten an email from Olga that there was in fact no new news.
The going theory is that the Russian government or MOE has now moved to a "pull a name out of a hat" system. Evidently our agencies name wasn't picked yet.

As always I have some type of side note. Derek and I (ok more me than D) have decided to make handmade truffles for Valentines Day. This is our attempt at yet another fundraiser. It has been since August that we have attempted one. So if you go to my Urban Landscapes site you will see all the wonderful stuff we are selling. You can check out the Valentine's site or the Other Items site. The best part is I figured out how to set up a PayPal shopping cart so you can now buy with a credit card or debit card! Go check it out. Tell your friends and family! The chocolates are yummy!!

We know that our friends and family have given so much to help us already. There are no words really to describe how grateful we truly are for your help. However, the third trip has caught us off guard and greatly influenced our budget. We are using trying some creative approaches to earning the money we need.

Also... look for "Free the Peruvian Burros" t-shirts coming soon!

Imagine My World

2006-01-31T10:47:00.000-08:00

Imagine wanting to be a parent more than anything in the world. Think about the excitement of the prospect of holding this beautiful brand new baby in your arms. Feel the heartbreak as you watch every month pass by with nothing. Doctors wanting to cut you open just to look under the hood. More doctors wanting to put you on a medication that you have heard horror stories about. Picture the light at the end of the tunnel when you hear an unmistakable calling to find your child in a foreign country. Joy at the thought that God didn't really leave you out on the whole parenting thing. That He had other plans for you. That you are supposed to take a different trip to the same place.
An overwhelming fear washes over you as you stare at an ominous stack of papers. You must answer questions about the most intimate details of your life. You must complete reams of paperwork just to be considered to be a parent. Background checks, finger prints, medical exams. You start to question why is it that you are on this journey.
A day comes when you see something that looks like hope. It is disguised as a photo of a little boy. The most beautiful child you have ever seen in your life. Big brown eyes stare at you through the photo. This is your child. He lives 1/2 a world away.
With trepidation you board a plane. You fly across an ocean to meet a little boy that the Lord has led you to. It is amazing. Your can't imagine that you could feel so much love for any one person. He is perfect. Perfect face, healthy, 10 fingers, 10 toes. You know because you count them over and over. You hug him and hold him and tell him over and over that you love him and that he is your son.
Then there comes the day. The day you hand him to a woman. God how you wish you didn't have to do that. How you wish that you didn't have to say goodbye. You wish that this was the moment that was going to be forever. That you could whisk him away from this place, but no. You kiss him one last time. You tell him one last time that you love him and that mommy will be back soon to get you. And you walk away.
You board that plane again. Flying back across the ocean you wonder again why you were picked to take this trip.
Before you left you thought it would only be a short time before you got back on that plane to run back to your son. Imagine the discouragement when the person helping you breaks the bad news that she needs one piece of paper for you to go back. The horror as you read that yet another woman has killed her child, a child that she got from your son's country. Feel the outrage that this woman sparks as her actions not only end an innocent life, but stop you and everyone else from bringing their children home.
The days pass by. They become weeks and then months. You have nothing more than photos to look at. The photos are everywhere. In your home, at work, you carry them with you everywhere.
Imagine that a foreign government has complete control over your child. They refuse to send you updates on your child. You have no clue if he is alright. Has he been ill? Is he walking? How much does he weigh? Are you still able to go back to get him?
Four months later there is news. The foreign government is going to investigate every agency. They are going to make the determination if your agency is good or not. With bated breath you wait. Two weeks later there is good news. Your agency is good. The government says they will give you the paper soon.
In the mean time you watch your friends give birth to their children. You watch other mothers travel to pick up their children. All the while you sit and wait with no word. Milestones pass. Birthdays, holidays. Events that you were sure you would have your child for.
People ask why you can't just go back and get him. They ask what is taking so long. They ask, when are you going back. All you can answer is I don't know. Over and over again, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
On the outside you show a brave face. You smile and know people ask because they care. On the inside you are secretly withering away. With every I don't know your heart breaks a little more for the boy you said good bye to.
More months go by. It is eight months now. Eight months with no word. No hope. Other agencies are getting the paper. Other children are coming home. If you don't hear anything by first thing in the morning then you have to claw your way through another day of waiting. They are on the other side of the world and sleep soundly while you try to manage another day with the brave face.
Your only solace comes in the form of the others. Those stuck just like you. People who have become like family. People who have looked into their children's eyes and had to say good bye, mommy will be back for you soon.
You start everyday with hope and watch it turn to despair, all the while putting on the brave face.

Imagine that this is your world.

The Dinner

2006-01-29T14:54:00.000-08:00

Picture, if you will, a woman sitting at a table in a hotel. She is wearing a dark fuchsia pink strapless ball gown and feeling a little over dressed. Strange people come up to her and tell her how much they like her dress. She socializes with the others seated at the table and tries to calm her fear of over dressing with wine. Then it begins... a parade of high-five'n-white guys. Men dressed in suits congratulating themselves on a job well done. She has entered...

The Nerd Zone...

The Nerd Zone is a place caught somewhere between reality and utter freakdom. It is a place where the nerds can come together to celebrate their true nerdiness. These nerds we speak of are none other than life insurance salesmen. Not only are they insurance salesmen they are all Lutheran.
The woman sits captivated by the shear nerdiness of this event. There are power point presentations with star wars music. Cheesy motivational speeches on how to be a team player. Congratulations to those who have the most ABC's and QR-47's and special recognition on those who remembered to put the new cover sheet on the TPS report. Maybe even one or two who needed to refine the act of the XYZ. The only thing saving the woman from becoming one of them is the hosted bar.
The evening concludes with the ritual dance of the nerd. Imagine 50 of the nerds in close proximity. They have also partaken of the hosted bar. Music begins playing. The woman recognizes the music. She takes another large drink from her wine glass. The song... The YMCA.

----------------------------------------

This year D celebrated his 5 year anniversary with his employer. Yes his employer is a life insurance company that serves the Lutheran Community. They hold this fancy dinner every year. 5 years I have been going to this little shindig. I get a new dress, do up my hair and the thing that saves me every year is the wine. Copious amounts of wine.
Now don't get me wrong. I appreciate the event. We get a night in a hotel for free. Usually a very nice hotel. I get a free dinner and there is that hosted bar. But the thought of sitting in a room with God only knows how many life insurance salesmen makes me want to just run.
The worst part is admitting that you are actually aging. The newbies look younger and younger every year. When in reality it is I who am looking older and feeling older.

I had to go to the bathroom at one point and I overheard two of the newbie girlfriends or wives talking. The conversation went a little something like this.

#1: OMG!!! did you see "Mary's*" dress.
#2: No, what did it look like?
#1: It is totally awesome! It is like this short silver thing. She looks so good!
#2: That is so cool... I mean I can't believe what some people where to this.
#1: oh I know, the invitation said cocktail dress, but exactly what is a cocktail dress?

I thought they seriously were going to bust into a whole thing about "Did you see how that whore Jane was looking at me? Like, who does she think she is macking on my boyfriend like that?"
When exactly did I get back to highschool?

*"Mary's" dress was killer!! I have this secret personal war to try to out do her every year, but this year I failed miserably!! That dress rocked!

So as far as the dress picture goes... Sorry bloggy fans... the photo is not flattering. D took a photo of me in the room before we went down to dinner. I kinda stood at an angle to the camera and I think I look like 2 ton tilley. So no photo for you. You want to see what I look like? There is one photo of me out there on the internet. You will just have to find it.

So that is our fancy dress-up dinner. I will add a disclaimer that I have had 2 hours of sleep and anything in this post may or may not be true once I have had my fair share of shut eye.

-----------------------------------------------------
now that I have had some sleep and re-read my post... I still find it funny. Don't get me wrong, D's company goes all out for this thing. Good hotel, good food, an excuse to get dressed up, but it is diffcult for us.
When you feel like you are the only one in the room who is not recognized for any professional accomplishment this year, you have to find humor in the situation somehow. And remember I am verging on the edge of crazy here people. Just live with me.

Behind it all...

2006-01-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

there is a Canadian screwing it up. (well the actual phrase was a little more expletive, but to maintain my strong PG rating I censored myself)

This week's update brought to you by... oh hell I couldn't think of anything clever:

This afternoon there were shouts and tears of joy. A Canadian agency to remain nameless shamelessly posted on their website that they were indeed reaccredited. The truth to that claim remains to be seen. According to Olga they prematurely announced the happy news. She believes that they heard they would be reaccredited and published the news to the world. When in reality they likely have not been reaccredited.

Our shouts of joy were directed to the inventors of non-freezing ink. However, the formula has yet to be perfected. So no news quite yet. We are all hoping that maybe tomorrow... ahh, who am I kidding. This child is going to pick me up from the airport.

In other news... D has this fancy dress-up dinner for work every year. We went to the mall Tuesday night so he could buy a new shirt and tie. I figured while I am there I would look around and see if I couldn't find a new dress. Guess who I find at the department store? My mega-ultra bargain shopper friend, Kim. Kim cons me into trying on a dress. According to Kim and D it looked really good. And at $30, who could argue. So I bought it. The problem is, while Kim and I are trying on our dresses a woman comes out of a dressing room and says, "Oh, is it prom time or something?" Directing the comment at us! So now I am totally paranoid that I am going to look like some high school prom thing. The invitation clearly states "cocktail dresses." This is not a cocktail dress. I won't tell you what it looks like, because D's mom reads this blog and she will also be attending the function. I kinda want it to be a surprise. It is the kind of dress I have always wanted to fit into and look good in, but it is a little formal. Dear Lord, wish me luck. I won't promise you will get any photos of me in this thing.

A good news report

2006-01-24T10:53:00.000-08:00

NO, we have not heard about reaccreditation. That is not the good news.

The good news is that Lauri & John got their referral!!!!!!!! They are not an AIA family, but their's is a blog I have been reading for some time. They have struggled with infertility, started with Ukraine and switched to Russia. They have waited quite a long time for this day to come!!!! So go on over to Lauri's blog and give her a congratulations!!! What are you waiting for? Go, NOW!

Bloggers Unite!

2006-01-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

I saw this idea on another blog and thought it was rather a good one. The idea is from the host of a Chinese adoption forum. Some of us have realized that there are a good number of people with blogs that are adopting from China, Guatemala, and domestically. However the number of Eastern European blogs seems to be more difficult to find.

So here is the idea. If you are one of our readers and you have a blog that is not already listed in my blogroll (see right) please leave me a comment with the url of your blog name. I would like to start a list of these. I will say that Karen's Adoption Links does have a good list of family websites, but they are mostly people who have already adopted. There are so few of us that are still waiting.

So leave me a comment. We really won't bite! I have met so many people just in the last few weeks it is amazing. You are all a constant source of support and I want to share that with everyone else!

Canada: Open 24 hours

2006-01-22T16:56:00.000-08:00

Oh how I have missed you my sweet email and blogs. As I have said before I am in need of getting a life, but I don't want to so live with it. I went 24 hours without the ability to check my email and survived! For those of you also suffering with ECD the good news is it isn't terminal.

D and I had a lovely day away from home. We finally made it out of the house at about 11:30 yesterday morning. Of course the furthest we got was the gas station before I realized I had forgotten my allergy pills. And we know what kind of trip it would be had I forgotten later. So around noon we finally got on the road. Quick stop north of Seattle for an oh-so-healthy lunch and a potty stop and we again were off.

The highlight of the drive was watching a guy drive down the road, talk on his cell phone and read a piece of paper all at the same time. I really should have taken a photo, but D passed him too fast.

And did you know that Canada is open 24 hours? There is a big sign near the border that tells you so. (actually it says the border crossing is open 24 hours, but I think it is funnier my way)

We cross the border with no problem since apparently no one really wants into Canada. There was like a 2 minute wait. We headed straight for Vancouver for the obligatory shopping. I slobbered at the beautiful houses along South Granville and the quaint little shops. I love that area.

We decided that since we had some time before check-in that we would do some shopping in the mall. First it took forever to find a parking garage. Once parked we ventured into the mall which, of course, is being renovated. We walked through Sport Check, the mother of all sporting good stores and found one of the Roots stores. Then we started the "hunt".

The Hunt is for a Canadian Olympic Sweatshirt. This meant finding a Bay store. Fortunately once we left the mall there was one right on the corner. This place is magnificent. It is a cross between Macy's and Nordstrom. The exception being that they had a huge Olympic Gear section. And there it was! The coveted sweatshirt. Despite the fact that I knew exactly what I wanted it still took me 20 minutes to make up my mind. I had to try it on, decide between a men's or a women's... needless to say, I am now wearing my new sweatshirt. I love it. Really really love it. Chances are I won't take it off for the next 2 weeks!

So the rest of the trip was fantastic also. Our room was on the 31st floor of the Marriott. Gorgeous view of the harbor. I had grand plans of taking photos to show all of you, but my attention span had other ideas. I turned on my camera and the screen said "no card". Yes, I had fresh batteries, but no memory card. So even if I did have the opportunity to take a photo of the distracted driver, I couldn't.

We had a great dinner at the Shanghai Chinese Bistro. If ever in Vancouver, you must eat there. They do a nightly show where they make fresh noodles. We were too early, but we had other plans.

Before we left I made an effort to not check to see if the Canucks were in town. That way I would be oblivious and say D the trouble of driving by GM place just so I could flash a little leg to see if the ushers would let me in. Well turns out they were in town. Not only that... they were playing the Canadiens (only me second favorite team ever) AND when we turned the game on with 6 minutes left in the first, the Canucks were winning 6 nothing!!! Again I had to sit in a hotel to watch a great game. Just my luck.

All in all it was a great trip. We were so happy to get away just for a night. We got to spend some quality us time. I will admit I was glad to get home to see my kitties, and of course check my email.

And a fun time was had by all

2006-01-20T14:16:00.000-08:00

First I would like to apologize for the fact that our template might have looked a little screwed up. And if you have checked our blog multiple times today I am sure you saw something different everytime you checked. I thought I had figured out this really cool trick, but it turns out I didn't. Ok, I did, but for those of you still stuck in the stone age with Internet Explorer it didn't work. It looked fantastic on my computer! You all should have stopped by to see it!

But alas... it was not to be. I couldn't stand the thought of you guys looking at half-assed work. So I am back to a relatively plain layout. Don't get me wrong, the graphics are all Elle, but I can't figure out how to change some colors that I don't like and I am at the point where I don't really care.

So I suppose this being the end of the week you are looking for the weekly update.

Let's say that this weekly update is brought to you by Prozac. Lord help me I need some. (I really did have something more clever, but since my mom reads this blog I thought better of extreme profanity)

There really isn't any big news to share. All the paperwork the MoE needed for reaccreditation has been completed and we are just waiting for them to sign the document. Sounds fantastic right? Oh I will be the first to tell you that this is definitely good news, but... Isn't there always a but?

It seems that mother nature now wants to intervene in the process. If it isn't one thing it is another. Apparently Moscow, and most of Russia, has been hit with an extremely deep freeze. To conserve power the Russians are closing certain buildings and suggesting that residents stay home. So that means no one is working!!!!!! The MoE is apparently closed for the rest of the week.

I am not sure when they are supposed to reopen or when this cold front is supposed to move on through, but this is putting a big kink in my life.

I refer back to an earlier post in which I mentioned starting an ink drive. I am thinking we need to go back to this plan. In the original post it was to get ink for the ever elusive "approved" stamp. I am now thinking that we need to invent some kind of "never-freeze" pen ink. I believe this ink must also come from some remote South American village thus having to travel by burro.

I think I have officially crossed over the crazy threshold.

One Year

2006-01-17T19:00:00.000-08:00

It was one year ago today that we officially began our adoption journey. One year ago at this very moment our social worker was stepping into our home to evaluate our fitness as parents. I thought I would give you a rather long timeline of what we have done in the past year.

1/17 - 1st meeting with social worker
2/3 - sent autobiographies to social worker
2/8 - received passports (applied for 1/14)
2/12 - filled out I-600A
2/12 - sent application to agency
3/7 - I-600A filed with USCIS (INS)
3/17 - Signed agency contract (celebrated with cornedbeef and beer)
3/26 - Received first set of paperwork from agency
4/15 - Received Homestudy (complete with typos)
4/18 - Sent revised Homstudy to USCIS
4/18 - Sent initial dossier to agency
4/20 - Dossier received by agency
4/28 - REFERRAL!!!
4/29 - Sent medical to kick ass Dr. Darenkov
5/6 - Fingerprinted
5/30 - Boarded plane for Russia
6/2 - Officially met the boy
6/4 - Leave Russia for the "long wait"
6/12 - Second half of paperwork complete and apostilled
7/27 - Email from Olga to get a new certificate of residency
10/4 - Olga received new certificate of residency
10/27 - Agency supposed to receive reaccreditation, MoE meeting postponed.

That is it. We have done nothing since the beginning of October.

Here it is a year later. I suppose I should whine about the fact that I thought we would have our child home by now. I could complain that this just isn't fair. But after this long. I am too tired for that anymore. I know that I am closer to the end than I am to the start. I keep telling myself that.

So cheers to all of you just starting this process, may it take significantly less time than ours. Hugs to you that are right there with us and gigantic Big Gulps of margaritas to those of you stuck in this nightmare much longer than us! May we have the opportunity to get together to share poopy diaper stories!!

How did we get here

2006-01-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

I thought I would take a moment and tell you how we joined the adoption world. Please do remember that this is OUR story. Yours may be different. We all come into the adoption circle by different means. It is not a contest to see who deserves to be here the most. All of our stories are different and need to be told. There is often another family out there that went through the same thing you did. They need to hear our journeys.

After 7 years of marriage D and I decided it was time to bring a little person into our house. I did like nearly every woman and rushed off to the doctor to evaluate the state of my reproductive health. I proudly proclaimed to Dr. Indifferent, "We want to have a baby!" Dr. Indifferent tells me, "80% of couples get pregnant in the first 12 months, you are healthy, go for it." So we do.

We purposely did not tell any of our family and friends. Mainly because after 7 years most of them were starting to think that we never wanted children. We thought it might be fun to surprise them and say we were pregnant. Of course there were a few that figured it out and others that were pretty clueless.

After about 8 months of trying I really started to think that this just was not going to work. I knew something was wrong, but wasn't quite sure what it was. A year after we stared I headed back to Dr. Indifferent for the yearly exam. I told doc that we had been at it for a year with no success. No false alarms, nothing. I also told him of pain that I experienced during my cycle. I knew the pain is what was causing the issues. Dr. Indifferent told me that "90% of couples conceive in the first 18 months of trying. Your pain might be caused by endometriosis, but we would have to do surgery to determine that. Or it could be male factor. You should have your husband tested first." Woah, Woah, Woah!!! Did he just say surgery?! Yes, yes he did. The man wanted to cut me open just to look around. So Dr. Indifferent gave me some pamphlets on Endo (info I already knew), a specimen cup for D and sent me on my way.

When I got home I told D what Dr. Indifferent had said. I put the specimen cup in a drawer and we agreed that we would continue to try for another 6 months and then go from there.

The same month as the appointment with Dr. Indifferent I had my 10 year high school reunion. I didn't want to go, but my best friend flew all the way down from Alaska to attend, so I couldn't say no. She was about 4 months pregnant at the time and we had a discussion about getting pregnant. She said the phrase that many hate to hear, "Well if it doesn't work you can always adopt." This phrase doesn't make me cringe as much as others. She followed it up with, "I could see you doing that." The conversation ended right there since we were walking up to the check-in spot for the reunion. But for some reason that phrase stuck with me.

Two months later and still not pregnant I started thinking. I somehow knew in the back of my mind that this just was not going to work. I knew I had endo, but I kept hearing, "oh, so-and-so has endo and they got pregnant." That sentence grated on my brain like nails on a chalk board. I finally said screw it! I sat down at the computer and typed "International Adoption" into Google. It came up with the AWAA web site. I clicked on it and started reading. China - too young, Vietnam - closed, Ukraine - too long of an in-country stay, Russia... All of a sudden it was like someone shoved me in the back and said, "I gave you your child, I put him in Russia." Chills huh? Me too. From that moment on I never looked back. D was another story.

It took me about a while to convince D that this was what was in the cards for us. D is a thinker and analyzer. He read as much as he could find on the internet and slowly but surely he agreed. We decided that this was something that we would actually follow through on. Not another dream we would just think about.

You see, we did know a few things about ourselves. After that second meeting with Dr. Indifferent we had decided that we would not pursue ART (artificial reproductive therapy). At the time we thought that insurance wouldn't cover it and we thought it to be kind of selfish (these are our thoughts). We also decided that we would not even consider a domestic adoption. Being a domestic adoptee I have issues with the "new" system. I don't like the thought of the open adoptions and I didn't like the thought of having to sell yourself as parents. Actually I have many issues with domestic adoption, but that is a whole different story.

So one year ago tomorrow we officially began the process to adopt a child from Russia. Of course we now know what caused the conception issues, but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is we are now part of this community.

I have met so many people during this journey. I am grateful for each and every one of them. I cry when I hear the stories of the pain they suffered during IVF or the loss of each baby. I am so happy when a new person enters our circle. Our stories are unique, but they are what brings us here. This big family.

The week's update

2006-01-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

For those of you who read at the end of the week for the weekly adoption update I do apologize. As you may have already guessed there really wasn't news to report. We were told the same ol' thing as last time, "They're working on it." I swear the Russian Government works at the speed of a someone driving a Daewoo, carpooling to Weight Watcher's meeting.

Of course the rumor mill is once again rearing its ugly head. You are surprised? Well you shouldn't be. The collective "They" does this about every three days. Someone posts some email they got from their agency saying, "We have been informed by the MoE that reaccreditations will happen in the coming week." For the love of Christ people!!! Stop posting this type of crap. All you do is raise the hopes of those of us stuck in this living nightmare just to have it obliterated the next week when no papers are signed.

(*breathing*)

Sorry... I had a moment there.

Truly, I do appreciate those who try to keep the adoption community apprised of what small iota of information that may possible be passed along, but they are simply just rumors. And we all know what rumors do. They make the nerdy girl in the corner the butt of every 4-eyes joke in the school. (oh wait no, that was me in high school, sorry)

Anyway, no news. I PROMISE!!! I will let you all know once I know anything definitive.

Go and Vote!!!

2006-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

I just found out that one of my favorite blogs is up for a Best of Blogs Award. I am completely aware that I have far too much free time on my hands. Please don't take the time to remind me.

So I encourage you all to go vote for mary-mia now!!! M3 is up for a best adoption/ infertillity blog award. She is trailing A little pregnant, which we all know is NOT an adoption blog. And we all know that the really cool people are adopting. Besides, M3 is like me... running far away from anything that has to do with IVF. Good Girl!

So the way this works is go to BoB and scroll down to the bottom of the poll lists, click the button that says "Do they have Salsa in China?" Then click vote. She's just gotta win!

De-Lurk Week

2006-01-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

Last year this woman named Sheryl created de-lurking day. It is a day for those of you who secretly read blogs to come out of the wood work and post a comment. Now I have tried to get many of you lurkers to post comments on our blog. My attempts have been mildly successful, but Derek seems to get more comments than I do. Of course his posts are these wonderful, eloquent and meaningful posts while mine are useless crap. With that being said... I still know there are many of you who read and don't post. So here is you chance. De-Lurk day has been made into De-lurk week. You have a whole week to tell me that you actually like me. If you are afraid of posting to this blog and would rather post just to me (as opposed to both D and I) you can send your comments to Elle.
Comments really are like Crack to some of us bloggers. Once we get one we can't get enough. It makes us feel special and dammit I need to feel special. So come out, come out where ever you are. Just a small sentence to say, "My name is L, I am a lurker."

Next week... the politically charged debate.

Thoughts of today

2006-01-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well it seems like forever since I've posted anything to the blog. I'm sure that you all have been enjoying the posts from Best Mom Ever (BME), and maybe wondering if I had anything to say. I spent some time this morning looking back at the beginning of this adventure/blog. We certainly have come a long way. I often try to remind myself of the promise that L and I made when we started all this: We agreed to take things as they came. That we knew that this process would have its up and downs and that we would try our hardest try to stay on an even keel. It has been awfully hard lately to be patient, accept things and let go of the things that we cannot control. How do you not get caught up in the rumors, speculations, and "what-ifs"? I will be the first to admit that the last six months have been the hardest of my life. It's hard not to be angry, sad, or wonder if this adoption will ever happen. It would be easy to say how unfair it has all been. How it's unfair that all our friends around us are having babies and adding to their families. How unfair it is when you hear about other friends son and daughter getting their domestically adopted baby before us even though we started our process before them.

But then I take a deep breath and stop... and think. I go back and read our posts about the day that we met our son. The day that we got to hold him for the first time. The day we made a mess feeding him the first time, saw him smile for the first time and heard his laugh for the first time. It could be dis-heartening to think of "firsts" that we have probably missed, but I would rather think about all the firsts we experienced and of all the firsts that we will experience together in the future. The only certainty we have right now is that we cannot give up or give in because there is a little boy in Russia that is depending on us to come back for him. So we will continue to wait along with countless other families for the now infamous reaccreditation to happen. I know that with L by my side I can get though anything. Hey, we've made it this far at least.

-D

The Stripes

2006-01-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

Like the stripes?

That is a Derek change. I get this call at the church today and he says, "take a look at the blog! I added a striped background."

Thus... stripes. I thought I was the one who was going to start html code as a hobby. I guess I can share. I actually think the strips are kinda neat. Better than the grey that was there.

I did start my very own blog that I can play around with. Check it out http://elleslife.blogspot.com/ I thought it was pretty nifty. I still need to add the credits and such, but I am getting there. Let me know what you think. (no mom... Elle is not a typo)

Anyway, no news to report. The latest from Olga pretty much said we will need to wait until after the 10th. The Russians celebrate Christmas at a different time than we do. And they want to spend time with their families... of all the silly things!

Happy New Year to all!!!

Love

2005-12-31T15:40:00.000-08:00

D and I watched a fantastic movie last night. I happen to be a little behind on my "great movie" watching so I am sure you have seen it. We watched "The Notebook". I do believe this film was nominated for an academy award. If not, it should have been.
This is the story of two people who fall in love during a summer fling and really never forget each other. It is told by the man reading the story to his wife who suffers from dimentia. Mainly it is a flashback type of thing but with shots of their present life stuck in. The way the story is told is just marvelous. You realize how much these two people really love each other and that it will always be that way. In the end he finishes the story and she is trying to figure out why the story sounds so familiar. She finally realizes that it is them that he has been reading about. She asks her husband, "how much time to we have?" To which he replies, "Last time is was only about 5 minutes." You see, he reads her the same story everyday to try to help her remember. They embrace and dance until her memory yet again fades and she loses her grip with reality.
This man chooses to live in the nursing home with his wife because he can't stand to live without her. After a heart attack he sneaks into her isolation ward just so he can see her beautiful face. I won't totally spoil the ending just in case you haven't seen it.
As we watched the movie I thought about Derek's grandparents. I remember one year they travelled to the Northwest from Kansas and Bunny (Derek's grandmother) got sick. She had some heart troubles in the past so illness was not to be taken lightly. Derek's Grandfather faithfully sat at her bedside everyday. He would come out of the bedroom to briefly have lunch with us and then state, "well I have to go back to sit with Bunny." I thought it was odd at the time but now I realize how special it was.
Similarily, my grandmother suffers from mulitple strokes. Everytime she has a significant one my Grandfather races to the phone to call my mom. He is so worried and my mom is the one who helps him through.
These men love these women with every ounce of their being. They couldn't imagine a day without them. I admire that so much.
Life has delt D and I some bad stuff. But through all of it we have been there for each other. This past year I felt like things would be so much better if we could just get the boy home. I realized that despite the setbacks we have had that I still have D. He is there, watching over me. There is this man who love me with all his heart and all his soul. And I love him.
No matter what he will always be there. Holding my hand. Cheering me on. Telling me our life story.
I couldn't ask for anything better.

Do me a favor. Get up right now. Go find your spouse. Tell them just how much you love them and how grateful you are for the love they give you. Be sincere, anything else would be just cheap.

Happy New Year to you all!!! May this be the year.

Hip Replacements and Hearing Aids

2005-12-29T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today is Thursday. So you all know what that means right... Bet you thought I was going to say "official news day". WRONG!! I'll get to the lack of news in a moment. Thursdays also happen to be my full day at the church. Seeing as I like to get paid I went to work despite my obvious lack of stuff to do. The morning was quite nice. Very quiet. All the pastors and the majority of the staff was out of the office so I got most of the place to myself. I checked my email, worked on some bulletin stuff, threw away a whole bunch of crap that we really didn't need anymore. At about 9:15 the ladies started to show up. You see, today was newsletter assembly day. A whole group of women come once a month and assemble our church newsletter and sort if for mailing. They also happen to bring their own lunch. Near lunch time one of the ladies come in to ask if I would like to have some lunch with them. I didn't have anything else to do and no food to eat so I said sure.
What a bunch of sweet little old ladies. One wanders around making sure everyone has everything they need (coffee, forks, napkins, etc) while the others say "Doris, just sit down and eat your lunch." They make sure the men that happen to be at the church are also fed. The funniest thing is watching them dish up their plates. They take little amounts of the "hot dish," remember we are Lutheran, and a small triangle of eggsalad sandwich. Then they go back for dessert. These women literally mound their plates with stuff like angel food cake, jello dish, and various other sweets. It was a riot.
So I spent my noon hour listening about whose husband had a hip replacement and who forgot their hearing aids. What a hoot. If I am in town next month I get to do it again!

So onto the news. Let's see. Who is this week's news report brought to you by? hmm, I got nothing.

That is fine because there isn't any news. We actually are at D's parent's house and tonight was my night to cook. I picked Indian food because, well... I like Indian food. So I have been working my butt off in the kitchen since about 2:30 this afternoon. Dinner was ready at about 6:00 so we missed the news. Stay tuned because if there is any I am sure I will let you know.

Onto Furnace Day. Today was also supposed to be the infamous Furnace Day. Appointment all scheduled until the guy called last night. Furnace man says he won't be to our house first thing in the morning because he has to take his son to the doctor. But the duct cleaning guy will be there.
I toddle off to my heart attack lunch and leave D at home to deal with home improvements. Well, Duct man showed up at 10 am after which D, FIL and BIL leave to have breakfast at the Southern Kitchen. I come home at about 1 pm and still no furnace guy. He shows at about 1:30!!! Evidently he and the guy that called us need to get their lies straight! Furnace guy tells D that he was late because he had to take is son to the airport. Sick my ass! So now Furnace guy is coming back tomorrow to finish the ALL DAY installation. This means we are going to miss going to the mountain to build snowmen with the niece!

There is a bright side to the day though. We did get a new toilet for the back bathroom and we got 2 door jams fixed. BIL and FIL were quite handy to have around today! Thanks guys!

All in all it was a full day. Tomorrow will be house cleaning while tripping over furnace man.

The rest of Christmas

2005-12-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

I know, I know... I have been a little hit and miss with the posting lately. We have family and town and have been spending some quality time with them. I must say it is nice to see everyone.
So what else did we get for Christmas? We had a good Christmas, in fact.
I received a new sewing machine, of course everyone is now expecting quilts for Christmas next year. D bought me 2 CDs (Cake and U2... my favorites!) and an html book. So expect some blog changes once I figure out how to program some serious html code!
Derek was graced with some new xbox games (of which I am currently listening to, oh fun!). He is also going to continue the trend of one of the best dressed hotties ever! New shirts for that new 30 something Dad look.
We also received new patio furniture from my mom and mike. Don't know what it looks like since it is still in the box and wouldn't fit in the Jetta. But my mom has good taste and I am sure it is awesome! We also received a vintage looking record player/ CD player/ radio from my grandparents. I am now inspired to start collecting Beetles albums! (future note, when I learn the afore mentioned html code I will exchange blog redesign services for Beetles albums or any other cool vinyl)
Alexander got some of the best gifts ever. Now I will tell you that I did come to a conclusion about grandparents this gift giving season. Somehow, there is a dormant gene in people that magically kicks in at the onset of grandparenthood. This gene compels people of a grandparent nature to purchase noise making gifts for the said grandchildren.
With me being a little bit granola this gene can seem excessive. I am the Duplo blocks and the fancy German trike kinda mom. Ya know the person that has the nice organic garden and shops at Trader Joe's because there are no preservatives in the frozen foods.
However, Alexander's grandparents now posses the "grandparent gene". For Christmas he received a Fisher Price magic block thing (complete with sound) and a Leap Frog Learning Table. Both gifts certainly have the granola mom stamp of approval.
The learning table is bilingual. This will come in handy for Sasha to keep up with Alex G. since he will, I'm sure, speak Spanish and English. And the Fisher Price deal... well lets just say it is cool.
I am tell you people it is everything I can do from unpacking these toys and playing with them myself!!!
So you can say it was a good Christmas. All the gift giving hoopla kept our minds off of the whole adoption thing for a little while. Although, I did come close to a melt down the other day when an off comment was made. I held it together though.
I do have to say that the best part of Christmas was having the opportunity to spend time with our families. I am trying to stay focused on what I do have right now instead of what I don't. Family is what I do have. They are there to support us and for that I am grateful.
I hope all of your Christmas' were Merry and bright!
Blessings, Super Mom

Best Gift Ever

2005-12-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

I just have to say we have successfully navigated Christmas! Although the boy is not home he still received a Christmas gift from Mommy and Daddy. Unlike his birthday we decided to do it a little different. For his birthday we bought him a set of Duplo blocks. Of course we bought the gift so who was going to unwrap it? So it sat on the table during his party for everyone to look at.
Well... Christmas is a little different. In anticipation of the arrival of a child we started our own family tradition. We, like many others, now open our gifts to each other Christmas morning. (Gifts were previously opened on Christmas Eve with Derek's family). Anyway, I had this grand idea that we would each purchase a gift for the boy and wrap it so the other could unwrap it. My grand ideas always have a way of being modified. Last week I went into Teaching Toys and Books and saw the mother of all Christmas gifts. The gift that would dub me as the coolest mom ever! The most beautiful wooden Radio Flyer Trike! Packaged in it's little red retro box it called to me. Of course the trike was over the set spending limit so I changed the plan a little. I consulted with the better half and we decided that we would spend the money for the trike and then we could assemble it Christmas morning. This is sounding fun, huh? I thought so.

At this point in the story I am going to remind you that I have never before been a parent.

The trike was a little expensive at the toy store so we decided to try to find it cheaper at "Mega Toy Store". In the unwritten parenting instructions it NEVER states "avoid Mega Toy Store during Christmas at all costs." I nearly had a panic attack somewhere around Tonka Trucks. Of course the did not have the coveted trike (as the internet informed me). The next stop was Mega everything store. Also no trike. Did I mention this was on Wednesday?

The next plan was to return to the original toy store to buy said trike on Thursday. Evidently that whole job thing got in the way. (see earlier post about D's gift) So that left Friday. Yes we went into a toy store the day before Christmas Eve.

Can you guess what happens next? Yep! Out of the Radio Flyer Trike! They had the wagon and the rocking horse, but no trike. I was damned determined to get my son a gift that we could assemble Christmas morning. So we asked the nice lady if they had any in the back and of course she said no. Instead she told us they had lots of Kettler Trikes. Kettler! I had never heard of Kettler. I don't want that, I want a Radio Flyer. She takes us to the catalog and shows us photos and tells us about the features of the Kettler trike. Ok, this woman is good. She is selling me on a different trike! We mull this over for a moment and decide that maybe this one is better than the RF. SOLD!!!

We leave the toy store with our new little gift for the boy. Proud parents we are! We then realized this is first in the many bikes to come. The last minute shopping for the perfect gift that everyone is out of. We are so proud!

So here it is Christmas morning. Like planned we had our breakfast, opened our gifts from each other and started in on the trike. I am here to tell you this is the coolest bike ever. It is fully adjustable, has a little dump bucket on the back and has an optional attachable handle so parents can push it if little legs don't know how to pedal. Wanna see it?Doesn't my kid have the coolest bike on the block? Jealous aren't you.

Merry Christmas to all! We'll let you know what we got later. For now I want you all to bask in the glow of my marvelous gift!

Lisa, the best mom ever

The Thursday Update

2005-12-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

This Thursday's update is brought to you by 2 buck Chuck.
(For those of you unfamiliar with 2 buck Chuck... you will have to figure it out on your own)

This Thursday had no new news to bring (hence the 2 buck Chuck). Yes, I am still checking my email 20 times a day, although I did only check it twice yesterday.

In other news... I saw the doc yesterday. The wonderful 6 week post-surgical check up. Everything looks very good and I am healing nicely. I asked the doc if I could skate. He says, "yes, but take it easy. Don't put full gear on right away." So I have been cleared to skate, but I should not play for another few weeks. Fine by me! I did the happy dance all the way out of the exam room. Even sent Derek to the rink today to have my skates sharpened! I am really surprised I am not laying on the couch wearing them.

In life outside of our home, some of you know that I have taken a temporary, part-time job as our church secretary. I actually job share with another woman who really does much more work that I do. I must say that I have a new found appreciation for the role of the Church Secretary. I thought today I would have a nice relaxing 1/2 day. I evidently thought wrong. Today I had to finish our monthly newsletter and mock up 4 bulletins. Of course the format got changed for the bulletins so I had to redo the templates I already had made. I am not going to complain though. At least it gets me out of the house for a day and a half each week. Plus they pay me! I do think that Derek might complain come Christmas morning though. I had a grand plan of working that 1/2 day today and then going Christmas shopping for him.

Since I worked until 5 my shopping plan was foiled. So now I have to shop tomorrow. So help me God I will NOT shop on Christmas Eve. He may be getting a packet of Chicklets and an airfreshener from 7-11, but as God as my witness I will not enter the mall on Christmas Eve.

On to today's lesson. We are going to review "Comment Posting 101".
I know there are a ton of you guys who read this blog and never post comments. How do I know. Let's just say I have my ways. So let's review shall we.
Step #1: click the comment link at the bottom of the particular post you would like to comment on. This link will either say "no comments", "2 comments", etc.
Step #2: Have fun reading the fun comments Rhonda or Lauri happen to make on our blog.
Step #3: Scroll to the bottom of the comments and click the "post a comment" link.
Step #4: Write your particular comment in the "leave a comment" box.
Step #5: If you happen to be a blogger member you really shouldn't have read this far, but if that is the case you shouldn't be reading anymore. If you are you have issues. For the rest of you... click the anonymous button and fill in the funky "word" then click the "Login/ Publish" button.

This should complete the Posting a Comment lesson. I know this is a little different since Derek changed the blog template. For that I apologize. I am very aware that some of my Lutheran friends are opposed to change.

Now... if you people don't start leaving comments to make me feel good I might have to institute a politically charged weekly discussion. You have been warned!

A Confession

2005-12-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

Hello... My name is Lisa... I am a compulsive email checker.

You know there really has to be a support group for this kind of disorder. I mean, hey! I check my email at least 20 times a day. It is so bad that I check it before I go take a shower and 10 minutes later I am back at the computer, toothbrush in hand and mouth full of toothpaste.
I am waiting for the ever ominous email from Olga. You know the one. The one that says the magic words..."we are reaccredited." but alas nothing.
You guessed it. There is no news to report.

So since there is a lack of adoption news I will report on what we are up to for the Christmas season. Derek's sisters, BIL and niece arrived today. That was fun. Haven't seen them for a while. They will be here until New Years.
Tomorrow is the day I have waited 6 weeks for. The Doc will finally clear me to play hockey again! Yup, 6 weeks since the surgery and I am doing fine.
We will get to see some friends we met while in Khabarovsk next week. Ciarai and Jose invited us over for a Christmas get-together. It will be so much fun since we haven't seen their son Alex since he was sitting in the high chair at the orphanage screaming. From the photo she sends he has grown so much.
We look forward to Christmas and getting to spend time with our family
The 29th will be "furnace day". Otherwise deemed "guy's day". Our BIL, my FIL and Derek are going to have breakfast together at the Southern Kitchen and then work on some home improvement projects at our house. Not only do we get the pleasure of replacing our furnace, we get to put a new toilet in the back bathroom. More money spending fun!

I tell you... it is a Holly Jolly Christmas around our house!

Blessings, Lisa

All the news that's fit to report

2005-12-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

The news really isn't all that much. Still no reaccreditation. Bummer. But, we did hear from a reliable source that Reaccreds are in the works. We are not waiting for some magic date anymore. Evidently the MOE is working on 1/2 of the remaining 28 agencies. We don't know if they are waiting for ALL the agencies to have their paperwork in or what. We do know that our agency is evidently in the first group. "We don't know where, we don't know when, but something good may be happening." This all sounds very positive.

I did finish the boy's room! I hung his quilt, and the cross from Great Uncle Tom and Great Aunt Jan. I also hung one of my hockey sticks above the window. Of course it is just up there with "fun-tack" at the moment and will probably come crashing down in the middle of the night. The last part of his room will be to get some containers to put his clothes away into his closet. Of course most of the clothes we have are too small for him now. Oh well, just gives me an excuse to go shopping. Here are some photos of his room.

In other news... Derek is getting (what I call) a promotion!!! This is a huge answer to a prayer. For the past 2 years he has been a straight commission sales person. This means no guaranteed salary, no taxes taken from his pay and he has to pay all his own office expenses. I am here to tell you this is a rough life to live. There is the potential to make large sums of money, but we are not one of those fortunate families. The promotion is to a salaried position!! The base salary is low, but he then will get a % of the earnings of the commissioned sales people. He no longer will have to pay office expenses, taxes will be taken out, he gets a 401k match and the best part... 20 days paid vacation!!!!!! Paid vacation... that is like music to my ears. In his current position he can work as much or as little as he wanted, but if he didn't work there was less likely a chance of him getting paid. He is most excited about the structured work hours. No more late nights. His boss also said that if he is able to work from Russia he won't need to use his vacation time while we are away. Of course work depends on the reliability of internet access while in Siberia. Again, all very positive.

So life is fairly good in our house. Derek's sister, BIL and niece come for Christmas on the 20th, I have my last Dr.'s appointment on the 21st (I plan to get cleared to play hockey again) and Derek's other sister will probably arrive near the end of next week. Busy times, but fun!

Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah

2005-12-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

but oddly not strumming on a banjo.

My mom had this great idea that we should get together and bake cookies for Christmas. She thought we could start a new tradition. Actually it is rather a good idea. So yesterday I drove down to her house for our innagural cookie marathon. I arrived at her house at 10:30 but of course we didn't have everything we needed so we had to run to the store. Of course we didn't go straight to the store. We had to stop at the cable company so my mom could beg the cable people to come hook up her new kitchen television while she was on vacation. I think it was mostly so she would stop watching the only channel she got... snow. Yes, I witnessed a grown woman begging the cable lady to hook up her cable sooner.
Off to the grocery store. My mom happens to work in this particular grocery store so of course we had to stop and talk to everyone. Plus she had to fill out her vacation request so she would actually get paid for said cookie baking. By the time we returned to her house and commenced with the baking it was 1:00.
The baking was so much fun! We didn't get as much done as we thought but what we did do turned out good. We made Russian cookies call Kolachki (yummy, highly recommended!), Peanut Brittle and Pretzles covered with Almond Bark. The best part was that my mom makes Hot Buttered Rum Mix every year. This year I was privy to the mix making. So easy, but of course we had to sample the fruits of our labor. Now I am not much of a rum fan, in fact I think the stuff is rather revolting, but I am here to tell you this mix makes Captain Morgan's taste like a dream!!! If I had not been doped up on allergy medication I think I would have had me a few of those babies. However, 2 allergy pills, rum and a car do not a fun time make.
So what did I learn from my baking experience with mom?
1. Evidently the cable company IS in the Christmas spirit, but only if you grovel on all fours.
2. Do not add gel based food coloring to Almond Bark unless you want glop.
and finally...
3. My mother is still a bit nutty, but that is what makes her fun.

I still have to finish up some cookies, but that might be aided with a little of mom's homemade Hot Buttered Rum mix. Of course this requires something to stand on since I baby proofed the house and put the liquor above the fridge. Dang!

So let's hear it everyone... I know you are out there. Let's hear your favorite holiday traditions. Something you do on Christmas, before Christmas or after. Nothing is too little. Make me feel like you are in the holiday spirit too!

Blessings, Lisa

Our Tree Conquest

2005-12-10T20:17:00.000-08:00

This morning we set out on yet another tree hunt. Derek searched on the internet for a tree farm near our house, but when you live in the city there just aren't any. We ended up at a tree farm in Olympia, about 30 minutes south. This is the best tree farm I have ever seen! It is fairly new so the trees are in great shape. The only draw back is the tallest trees were only around 6 1/2 - 7 feet tall. The trees were dark green, bushy and sheared to perfection. The ground was covered in perfect green moss. Such a delight. Trees as far as the eye could see. The greatest thing about this particular tree farm is that in the fall they have a pumpkin patch. We figured next year we can take our family trip to the pumpkin patch and then return to the same place for our tree hunt. On Saturdays Santa visits from 12-4 and they decorate the old barn like a winter wonderland complete with a nativity scene.

Can you just picture the serenity? Our first family tree hunt. So picture perfect. Yeah right! It will be me chasing a 2 1/2 year old through a short forest while Derek wanders the rows of trees searching for just the right one.

I thought I would post a photo of our conquest. Here is our beautiful murdered tree. Can you feel its pain? It is gorgeous though!

Merry Christmas! Lisa

Tree Hunting

2005-12-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

You would think that with me being a horticulturalist and all I would be opposed to murdering a poor innocent tree just for the sake of Christmas. After all, not only to you saw its legs off you throw it on the roof of your car, drive it down the road, put burning little lights on it and forget to water it. It truly is cruel and unususal punishment. However, for the past 8 years Derek and I have faithfully hunted our Christmas tree. Yes, we bundle up and saw the legs off of a perfectly innocent tree. We have yet to purchase a pre-cut tree or worse yet... put up a fake one. *gasp*

So today was supposed to be the annual tree hunt. We loaded the bungee cords, donned our hats and away we went. We arrive at the tree farm and the man hands us our saw and promptly states, "We are out of u-cut Nobles and Frasiers. We only have Grands and Doug Fir." What the!!! No Nobles or Frasiers?! You are tree farm for pete's sake. Your job is to sell trees. This is like Starbucks running out of coffee. So what do we do? Take the saw and wander around said tree farm trying to convince ourselves that a Grand Fir would be an acceptable alternative. Who am I kidding. Grand Firs are pretty. Nice dark green and shiny needles, but where the heck do you hang the ornaments? They are way too bushy.

We turn in our saw and head off in the direction of tree farm #2. We pull in the parking lot and not a soul around. Not to mention it looks as if they only have Doug Firs. Off to tree farm #3. This place is some run down shack of a house with a sign on the door that reads, "I'm in the house. Knock." A person comes out and says that yes they do still have trees. So again, we take our trusty saw and venture out into the "forest". I use the word forest lightly here. This is more like the total Charlie Brown tree farm. They have about 10 Nobles, all a little yellow in color, about 12 feet tall and with huge gaping holes. This is a disaster.

Now since we live in the Northwest tree hunting can be a difficult matter. Derek works until about 1:00 on tree hunting day and then of course we have to have lunch. So by the time we get on the road to do the actual hunt it is somewhere in the vicinity of 2:00. This leaves 2 hours for quality tree hunting. (it starts to get dark at 4 here). At 3:00 we have exhausted our knowledge of tree farms in the area and need to get home. Yes, we are defeated. We returned home without a tree. We are going to give the hunt another shot tomorrow. Hopefully we will be able to find a farm close to our house. Otherwise we might have to cross the bridge (the dreaded Narrows) to find a tree.

Wish us luck!

What do you think?

2005-12-09T10:39:00.000-08:00

So Rhonda inspired me to make some updates to the blog. What do you think of our new digs? Personally I think it's pretty darn cool, but hey I'm biased. LOL

-D

The return of the rumor mill

2005-12-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

So that ugly rumor mill is rearing its head again. Recent reports from various sources indicate that Friday the 9th might be "the day". The day for reaccreditation that is. If that is the case then we can all let out a huge sigh of relief and get this show on the road!

In our optimism Derek and I have started looking at cold weather gear. Refer to the previous post regarding snow in the northwest. We are not skiers and have virtually no cold weather clothing. I think the last time I stepped foot into an REI was when I was in highschool and that wasn't even to buy anything. Ok, Derek working at Galyan's doesn't count. That was Kansas and the summer. I am quickly realizing that ski jackets are expensive. So are boots. This was definately not figured into the budget! We never anticipated travelling to Siberia in the winter. We thought we would like to see it, but we didn't think it would be while adopting Sasha.

The current temperature in Khabarovsk is 7 degrees. Yes, I said 7 with a whoping high of 10! The 10 outlook is even better. Monday's high will be -3 with a low of -15. Technically it isn't even winter yet! This is going to be fun.

In other news... In preparation for the boy coming home we thought we would take care of a few "home maintenance" chores. Derek found a coupon on the internet for a furnace tune-up. So nice furnace man (NFM) comes out yesterday and does his little inspection, and he says the words I dread the most! "I think I see 2 little cracks on the heat exchanger." Sure enough, there are 2 small cracks in our furnace. Of course Dane the dumbass previous homeowner has never done any maintenance on the furnace and bought the cheapest one on the market. So the heat exchanger can't be replaced, thus requiring a whole new furnace.
I head off to work and NFM informs Derek that a new furnace would run about $3000. Holy crap! That is a plane ticket or 2 to Khabarovsk! Needless to say we are getting a few other estimates. At least he didn't deem our furnace unfit for use. That of course would then require a call to the chimney sweep to clean the flu and install a cap on the chimney for the much needed heat.

It just gets better and better around here I tell you!

Hoping for good news this week.
Lisa

What we woke up to this morning...

2005-12-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's not as impressive as Rhonda's snow, but hey we live in Washington. Whenever it snows more than a quarter of an inch they just about pre-empt all the regular TV shows for 'breaking news'... so I'm guessing this will be "Winter Blast 2005!"... So it's already starting to melt but it sure looked pretty this morning when we got up. At least we won't have to shovel any snow since it looks like it will be gone by noon, lol. Hope everyone has a great day.

-D

So they're going to show it

2005-12-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

We saw a preview this morning for Primetime Live and they are going to show the segment of the Russian girl who was the victim of child pornography at the hands of her adoptive father. I truly hope that they produce a fair segment and acknowledge that this is the exception not the rule. I can't help but wonder if this story will keep us from our son even longer... This story has been published before in the Russian press but it won't help things in the fragile environment to have another inflammatory story in the press. Here is a link to the Primetime Live website:

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/

It's snowing, It's snowing!!

2005-11-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

Referring to the previous post there are some things that are not so great about Washington. Yes, I will admit it. In our neck of the woods we rarely get snow in the winter. It is so bad that last year the ski areas didn't really open. Sad but true.
However, I am proud to announce that it is currently snowing at my house. Of course in the 5 minutes since it started it has gone from really wet slush to huge flakes to nearly sticking back to really wet slush. Even so, I am running around like a child on Christmas with joy!! I love snow.
I love snowball fights, snowmen, the quietness that comes with a snowfall and the sound snow makes when you walk on it. When we get more than an inch I make Derek take a walk outside with me.
The snow is so cool that I had to open the living room curtain all the way and put on some Christmas music. I am simply pathetic!!!
Will you all remind me of this moment when we are in Khabarovsk in the dead of winter and I am frozen solid. Of course the Russians will probably think I am nuts for throwing snowballs at my husband as we walk down the street. Do you think they will deem me crazy for making a snowman outside of the hotel?

Ok, now it is raining again. Joyous moment over. Back to cold and wet.
Lisa

Why Washington is the best state ever!!

2005-11-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

Derek and I occasionally participate in a message board for other Eastern European adoptions. It is known as FRUA. Every Friday everyone posts on a thread called "Friday Silliness". Due to the extended wait times, most parents decided that we needed a little humor in our lives. Hence Friday Silliness. This week we extended Friday Silliness to "Holiday Silliness". We recently posted Jeff Foxworthy's "You know you are from the Northwest when". This got us thinking... you know, the best stuff comes from Washington! So here is my list of things that originated in Washington that make it great. I dare you to post a comment telling me why your state is better than Washington. Come on... I dare you!!

1. Starbucks
2. Microsoft
3. Boeing
4. Costco
5. Taco Del Mar
6. Dick's Drive-In
7. Tim's Cascade Potato Chips
8. REI
9. Eddie Bauer
10. NORDSTROM
11. UPS (The big brown truck, not the school. Although the school is pretty cool too.)
12. Almond Roca
13. Pike's Place Market
14. Microbrews (ok, they didn't actually start in WA, but we started that trend)
15. Grunge music (I know this is passe, but you can't argue with old Pearl Jam)
16. Dale Chihuly Glass

So lets hear it. Why is your state better than ours?

Lisa

* The original list of Why Washington is the Greatest state was created totally out of my head. No internet intervention here people. With a little creative searching I am going to expand on the list.

** Although Starbucks may have been a rip-off of a California based company, the original is still at Pike's Place Market. I can also say that coffee from this Starbucks is much better than any other Starbucks I have been to.

*** Similarily, Microsoft is based in Redmond, but as many of you know Bill's Windows program is clearly an Apple rip off.

Here are a few other Seattle firsts/ originals/ greats:

J.P. Patches
The first espresso cart
The Space Needle
The Monorail (please don't judge us by the fact that the 2 trains crashed together this weekend)
Muzak (ok, so elevator music isn't that great, but I bet you didn't know it was from Seattle!)
The Wave (not started in the Kingdome like most think, rather started at Husky Stadium)
First US Team to ever win the Stanley Cup (the Seattle Metropolitains beat the Montreal Canadians in 1917)

I should stop right there since the hockey card trumps all other cards, but just to drive home my point here are a few more.

The classic Happy face
The first Hydroplane boat
World's first gas station
More glass blowing studios than anywhere else in the US
Seattle International Film festival is the largest in the country
Largest % of Library card holders (We are not only artsy, we are smart too)
Largest WiFi network in the world is at the Microsoft Headquarters
Pacific Northwest Ballet has the hightst per capita dance attendance in the US (and I have a friend who plays in their orchestra)
Northgate mall is the first covered shopping mall

Ok, I think that helps up my status.

Bring it on!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2005-11-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

I want to wish all of you a blessed Thanksgiving. I know that in our house we have much to be thankful for. We have a home, food to eat, each other and a whole group of family and friends who love and support us very much. I also want to say thank you to everyone who asks, "Any news on Sasha yet?" I may look irritated, disgusted or sad when you ask, but really I know you ask because you care. I get asked nearly everyday. So that tells you how many people care for this little boy. He is so loved even before he has had the chance to meet all of you.

On to my Thanksgiving so far. Our turkey is currently cooking, and, unlike Rhonda, my house was full of smoke. I think it must be my oven. I probably should try cleaning it. We are expecting a very small group. Just Derek and I and D's parents. His sis G goes to California every year to be with his other sis L and her family. We miss her, but it is her chance to be cool auntie G.

I want to wish my good friend Danielle a very happy birthday!! She turns the big 3-0 today. We had a grand celebration last night. Very fun!

Well blessings to you all and Happy Turkey Day!!

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

We hope that everyone has a safe and blessed thanksgiving. Even though our son isn't home yet, I feel that we have so much to be thankful for this year. I am especially grateful for the love and support from all our family and friends throughout this roller-coaster ride. I truly don't know how we would have gotten this far without all of you. As a Thanksgiving treat, I will post some more of my twisted sense of humor...(stop groaning, Lisa) Last time it was 'cheesy' pick-up lines, this time in the spirit of the season it's turkey pick-up lines!

And one more for good measure....

Other stuff

2005-11-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

Since there really isn't any concrete news on the adoption front I figured I would blog about the other stuff going on. Mostly I sit on the sofa and surf the internet about additional adoption news. Sad really, but it is true.
Well, the major news in our house is that on Wednesday the 9th I had surgery. Now most of our blog followers are our family members and most of you already knew this little tidbit. For those of you not "in the know" that is the excitement. I happened to find out that I had a significant uterine fibroid and endometriosis. Fun stuff. It actually answered some huge questions we had. Like, "why can't we get pregnant?"
So week before last I spent 3 fun filled days in the hospital. This is the first time I had ever been hospitalized, and I am here to tell you I don't wish to go back any time soon. I had to share a room with another person, the food was terrible and the nurses were slow. Of course the exception was the nursing student (yes, nursing student) that was there to wait on me hand and foot. I guess that sign that says "Sucker" on my forehead was blinking again. Actually, I should say for a nursing student she did a fantastic job! Kudos to her.
Since being home I have done nothing more than lay on the couch and yes, surf the internet for more adoption information. Of which there is none. For those of you who don't know me I refer you to an earlier post about my high strung state of being. My family is so concerned that I am over doing it. Personally I think I am doing fine. My stomach muscles feel like someone beat the heck out of me, but other than that the dizzyness, nausea and most of the pain is gone. My issue is when I put on shoes and get out of the house.
I tried the mall with my mom on Friday (not today, don't worry we weren't trapped in some psycho mall shooting). The mall wasn't such a good idea. Back pain and heart burn something fierce. I then tried the grocery store yesterday. Again with the back pain. Today was Target. Back pain again, but not as bad. This does not bode well for returning to my church job on Tuesday. This will also put a damper in my Thanksgiving feast this week. Guess I will have to go back to, "Derek, can you bring me...". Yeah right. I gotta get off this couch!!!
In the mean time, I too will pass on a little game for all of you. I will say I got this off of Rhonda's blog.
http://freeweb.siol.net/danej/riverIQGame.swf
Here are the rules:
* Everyone has to cross the river.* Only 2 persons on the raft at a time.* Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft.* The Father can not stay with any of the daughters without their Mother's presence.* The Mother can not stay with any of the sons without their Father's presence.* The thief (striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there.* To start the game click on the big blue circle on the right.* To get the people on the raft click on them.* To move the raft click on the red dot at the top of the pole on the opposite side of the river.

Try to time how long it takes you. Post your time in the comment section. If anyone beats Derek I will bring you back a bar of Russian chocolate. His time is 15 minutes. Good Luck!!!

DUMA Meeting

2005-11-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, so there is a lot of information coming out of Russia this morning about the big DUMA meeting that occurred today (it's evening in Moscow right now). Both the Ministry of Education and the prosecutor General officials addressed a session of the Russian parliament regarding the adoption of children by foreigners. I will post a link to the most complete story that I could find so you can read it for yourself. Seems that lots of issues were discussed and nothing has occurred that will slow things down further. It was nice to see a Russian official that agrees that some reforms need to take place but also believes that international adoption should continue. We're not yet sure how all of this will affect the reaccreditation process but I am still hopeful that things will start to happen soon. Hopefully we will get more information from AIA on tomorrow night's chat. Have a great day and please continue to keep all the waiting families and children in your prayers.

http://en.rian.ru/Russia/20051116/42115668.html

Things should start moving soon

2005-11-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

The time has finally arrived that we received GOOD news from Russia. We received information from AIA that the interdepartmental meeting did take place today in Moscow. The Ministry of Education and Prosecutor General met to discuss international adoption. Here's what we know that came out of the meeting:

Independent adoptions are to become illegal.
Four agencies, including one from the US, have lost their accreditation
Without further meetings needed, the MoE will begin to reaccredit the remaining agencies in working order.

Olga told us that she that she didn't have any further information but she will let us know as soon as she finds out anything else. We're hoping that things will really start moving and that reaccreditation will happen soon. As soon as we know I will post it here so that you all will know. Thanks for all your support and prayers. Hopefully we'll have more good news to report soon.

Primetime Live

2005-11-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is another call to action (am I becoming an activist? hmmm.) Anyway, I have read today on several of the various adoption boards that Primetime Live is planning on running a story on their Nov 17th show about a Russian girl who was adopted and then forced into child pornography. I can't stress enough how damaging a story about that could be right now. I am asking that you click on the link below and write a message to ABC/Primetime Live encouraging them not to run this story. It is sensationalism and can only hurt those of us waiting. Here is the link: http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=131877&page=1

Thanks,

-Derek

New links

2005-11-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I added a couple of new links to the sidebar. I know many of you have probably said to yourselves "self, I wish I could see what's going on in Khabarovsk." Well, now you have your chance. I just added links to 2 webcams in Khabarovsk. SO now anytime, night or day, you too can see if the sun is shining or if it's snowing in Khabarovsk. Maybe when we go back, we'll have to figure out where the right spot to stand is... that way you all can see us in Russia, lol. But seriously, I think that it's pretty cool to be able to see Khab on the internet. Webcam 1 is outside of the 'Platinum Arena' (a place I'm sure we'll have to visit on our second trip since it's the home of Khabarovsk's hockey team). Webcam 2 is a shot high above looking down on Lenin Square. The building you see is directly across from the government building where our court hearing will take place. I hope you enjoy the links and a little slice of Russia.

-Derek

P.S. Happy 63rd birthday to my dad (a.k.a. 'Papa'), much love always!

Ups and downs

2005-10-31T10:17:00.000-08:00

After last week's crushing news we are still hanging in there. We decided that there is no use in stopping our lives just because something disappointing happens. If that were the case we would have given up on everything long ago. We know this little boy is meant to be our son. We will just have to wait a little longer.
For those of you who know me I am a little high strung. I get this from my mother (I think). Who says genes make a person? I like to be in control of my surroundings, I hate change and I am highly competitive (but not in an athletic way). This adoption adventure takes most of that out of a person. I am no longer in control of my life. Change is taking place constantly, but I am still pretty competitive. At least I have that! Not quite sure if that is a good thing or not. Needless to say, I am taking things one day at a time. I sound like a recovering addict don't I?
We again have some promising news. The rumor is that on November 7th the MoE will meet to discuss reaccreditation. The DUMA is supposed to meet on the 9th about international adoption. Our facilitator is "hopeful" that all of this will be resolved. Of course this is what we heard prior to the 27th of October. So it is now a we'll believe it when we see it kind of thing.
Alexander's room is starting to look like a child's room instead of our junk room. This weekend we got a shelving unit to store all of his toys. Very cute! He just needs the toys to go in it, oh and to be home to play with them of course.

I am going to start a new segment on the "Adoption Adventure Blog". Lisa's book club. Many of you have recommended books to me and I have gleefully read them. To get caught up I will give you the list of books that I have read so far. You can choose to give them a try or just trust me that they were good.
"The Russian Adoption Handbook" written by John McLean. A fantastic "technical guide to Russian adoption". This book tells you exactly how to get through the entire process.
"The Life of Pi" - not an adoption book, but very entertaining. I am fascinated by survival stories. This is a story of a little boy from India trapped in a life boat with a Bengal Tiger.
"As Far as My Feet Will Carry Me" - by Josef M. Bauer. This is a true story of a man who escapes from a Siberian Labor camp and walks home to Germany. Amazing.
"The Russian Word for Snow" - This one actually is an adoption story. It is a woman's story of bringing her son home from a Russian orphanage. This is a great book illustrating what NOT to do regarding Russian adoption. Her story is much different than ours. She adopted independently and it was before many of the regulations were instituted.

So that brings us to the current book.
"The Baby Boat" - by Patty Dann. Dann is the one who wrote "Mermaids". This is a diary of her journey to her son in Lithuania. She and her husband faced many of the challenges that Derek and I are currently facing. This book was recommended to me by our church secretary, Kathy. It is a wonderful story. I highly suggest finding this one.

If anyone has any suggestions on what to read next please let me know. Adoption stories are always good, survival stories or general heart warming tales.
As always, thank you all for prayers and support. Mark your calendars for the 7th and the 9th! We are hopeful of good news.
Blessings, Lisa

No good news

2005-10-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to say but there was no good news reported to us in chat last night. Evidently the Russian government has struck again. Ugh... From what we understand the meeting that was to occur on Thursday was postponed to an unknown date. The prosecutor general has now decided that he needs to "dig deeper" into some of the agencies and so accreditation will be delayed until that is complete. When will that happen, you say? At this point all we have is rumor and speculation. It sounds like no agency, accredited or not, is safe at this point. Our hope for Christmas in Khabarovsk is quickly fading. But we refuse to hold a pity party! We will continue to be strong for our son and hope that this will all be resolved sooner rather than later. We have officially named November "good news month: the sequel." The only way to sane in this whole process is patience and the power of positive thinking. We refuse to stop living our lives and let some official in Russia distract us from the true purpose of all this. We continue to look forward to day we are reunited with our son.

-The Dad

One more call for prayers...

2005-10-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

I really do know that most of you are seriously praying for me, Derek and Sasha. I know this because we would have never gotten this far without you. We really need some postivie thoughts and prayers this week!!!

A quick recap:
June - Travelled to meet Sahsa
Mid June - Russian governement halted all adoptions by non-accredited agencies
July - more news about abuse of Russian adoptees by American parents creating an even bigger anti-American sentiment.
Mid July - got the call to proceed with our medical forms only to have them stopped 3 times
August - no postivie news from our agency since the end of May
September - everyone thinks agencies will get reaccredited on September 15th
September 15th - MoE reaccredits 4 agencies (2 US and 2 foreign)
Mid Sept - Prosecutor General's office issues a statement citing infracitons on the part of nearly all currently reaccredited agencies. MoE issues a rebuttal.
October - Prosecutor General does not like MoE rebuttal and launches an investigation into ALL agencies (accredited and not)
October 13 - we find out AIA has not infractions
Mid October - Our facillitator finally shows a glimmer of hope saying that she is sure the meeting at the end of October will clear everything up and we will be able to move forward.

So lets count... nearly 5 months with no good news, no hope and no baby.

Word from the "Rumor Mill": the MoE is expected to meet October 27th to discuss reaccreditation of the remaining agencies. (of course this date is unconfirmed by our agency)

Today is the 26th of October. That means at about 9:00 tonight (pacific time, about 8:00am in Moscow) the MoE may be meeting to discuss re-accred. Hence the need for prayers. Keep your fingers crossed that we will wake up with fantastic news tomorrow morning!!!!!! Of course last time the MoE reaccredited agencies we didn't hear about it until the following Monday. Let's hope that isn't the case.

Blessings to you all and thanks for your continuing support.
Lisa

2005-10-21T13:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my "cheesy" world.

The mom (hiding under a rock)

Friday Fun

2005-10-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yes. I am subjecting you more of my humor. Lisa feels that I should apologize for my jokes, but no way! I am a humor rebel. LOL. Anyway, I hope this little bit of levity (and I emphasize little) brightens your Friday.

-Derek

Free range

2005-10-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

Most of you know my sense of humor, for those of you who don't this is just a small example. I hear often from my wife that I'm sick... you know, it really is true. But what is really funny is that she laughs at my jokes, so who's the sick one? I guess we're both pretty demented. That's probably why we get along so well. Hope this pic can bring a little fun to your day.

P.S. For those of you who don't get the joke, I'll refer you to the title of the post. Enjoy.

-Derek

A Little Bit of Good News...

2005-10-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that we participate in a weekly chat that is hosted on our agencies website. Usually Olga (our facilitator) comes on there with the latest "to my sorry, no news to report." Well last night she actually did have some news to report and it was GOOD. A little background on what is going on in Russia at this point... When the moratorium failed to pass in the DUMA those who are against international adoption figured that they would need to go a different route to try and get their way. So they recruited a deputy in the Prosecutor General's office to try and get him to investigate the agencies (both accredited and non-accredited). The idea was that if he could find violations of the law he could revoke the accreditations thus halting all foreign adoptions. Basically all agencies that are or were doing business in Russia have been subject to this inquiry. I bet you're thinking "where is the good news?" Well we found out last night from Olga that AIA passed their inquiry with flying colors and no violations! YEAH! Of course we knew that would be the case but it is good to know that AIA is in the clear. We're hoping that this is how the rest of the month will go: All the reports are due the Prosecutor General's office within the next couple of weeks. Those that have been found to violate the law might have their accreditations stripped (or if they have not been accredited, they will not be). Those that have been cleared will get their accreditation back and be allowed to continue their work. The hope is that this will all be completed by the end of the month. So please continue to pray for a quick resolution to all this. Your support has meant so much to our family through this frustrating time. Here's hoping it's Christmas in Khabarovsk :)

The Dad

The Fat Kitty

2005-10-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

So I realized today that there is something in my house that is preparing me to parent a toddler. This is Isis, she is my little princess. This is the cat that actually thinks she is a people-dog. This cat acts like anything but a cat. She follows me around like a dog, eats like a goat and is into everything like a 2 year old. Evidently it isn't my son I have to baby proof the house for, it is the darn cat!
I thought I would share some photos of her wonderful hijinks! Don't you love the one of her laying on the nice clean bath towels? You guessed it, had to wash those. She eats my plants, sheds everywhere and no box from Costco is safe! No this cat is not pregnant! She is just that fat. We have tried everything. She is on special fat kitty food, we tried an exercise program... nothing works. And to think, of the 2 cats we have she is the smart one. Too smart if you ask me.
Why am I sharing this with you? She actually is keeping me sane! I get bent out of shape about the state of Russian adoption just to turn around and find fat kitty sleeping on her back in the chair. She makes me laugh. Ok, the dumb cat makes me laugh too, but in a "I can't believe this cat is that dumb" kind of way. Isis is smart. She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to tell you.
So there is my fat kitty. Hope you get your laugh for the day!
Blessings, Lisa

The Saga of the Baby Latches

2005-10-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

Well... the word of the day moved from "dammit" to, "oops". In my blundering stupidity I again forgot that said baby latches were installed on said kitchen cabinets. Last night while retrieving a bowl I yanked on the cabinet door and promptly broke a baby latch. Needless to say Derek was a little unhappy with me on that one. So now I have to devise a sign of some sort to warn me that there are in fact baby latches on our cabinets.
If you are keeping score:
Cabinets:3 Mommy:0
I really don't hope the Russian judge doesn't ask if we are able to navigate baby safety items. Otherwise I'll be screwed!

On another exciting note, tomorrow is the day we have waited a year for!!!! This season, once again, Lord Stanley's Cup will be awarded! For hockey fans everywhere this is fantastic news. Yes... the 2005-06 NHL season starts tomorrow. There will be tears as we see Peter Forsberg start with a team other than Colorado. But there will be cheers as we look to another adveturous season of the Boxcapades!
Now I am not saying that I won't lower myself to watching The University of Puget Sound get tromped on by every other team in the state or I won't subject myself to sub-zero temperatures at Tacoma Hockey Club watching my old team lose every face off. That is also to say that there will be plenty of Golden Gopher Hockey on the TV in my house, but the NHL... that is golden! Wicked if it were. Naslund, Bertuzzi, Cloutier, the Sedin brothers and all the rest of the boys are back!!! I'm nuts, I know. I love hockey. Live with it.
Blessings,
Lisa

then comes the preparing

2005-10-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

When you are pregnant there is a definate amount of time you have in order to get ready for baby's arrival. When you adopt there is no due date. This is very bad for people who are procrastinators, such as Derek and I. Granted, Alexander's room is painted and there is even a crib in there, but that is about it.
Earlier this summer I made a list of "Stuff that needed to get done before Sasha comes home." I actually have crossed a few things off the list. But this weekend I enlisted Derek's help. So to prepare for baby we hung the pictures on the wall in his room, put my hockey gear away in the closet (sniff, no hockey this year for me), and Derek so handily installed new smoke detectors in the house.
But the fun part came when installing the baby latches on the kitchen cabinets. Most parents have a few months to break into parenting before baby really becomes mobile. Imagine being married for over 9 years with no children. Then magically (or not so magically) a toddler appears in your home. This new little person is mobile and on the move! Thus... childproofing your home. However, in our case it is "preparing for parenthood". We figured we are a little slow so we need to install the latches now to train ourselves they are there. Otherwise Sasha's first English word will be "dammit!"
How do I know this will be the word? As I have already mentioned, it has just been Derek and I for nine years. We get used to each other and have our specific chores. Last night Derek took out the garbage and left the can sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. That is my clue to put a new bag in the can. I of course go to get the bag... "dammit!!!!" Baby latches. This is promptly followed by laughter and heckling from my wonderful husband.
Slow learner that I am decided to clean the bathroom this morning. Again, "dammit!" Bathroom cleaning supplies are under the kitchen sink. Baby latches.
I have determined that there should be other "tests" involved in the homestudy process. These tests should include: how fast can you put together a baby swing without directions, can you assemble a crib and it be a safe and functioning sleeping unit for you child and how many days does it take for you to figure out that you actually installed baby latches on your kitchen cabinets. Evidently, as a parent these are things people don't tell you, but you really should know.
So if there are anymore of these little tidbits of advice that anyone would like to pass along, I would really appreciate it. Like what is the best cleaner to get mashed wet Cheerios out of carpet.
Blessings!

More of what you do...

2005-09-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

I find that on the emotional roller coaster there are good days and bad days. It actually is kind of like real roller coasters. There are some that are the fun kind and then there are some that really scare the hell out of you.
I have determined that despite the stress that I am going through, I still have to go on with life. Laundry still needs to be done, groceries still need to be bought. Just because I don't eat much doesn't mean I should make Derek suffer.
I asked another adoptive parent, whom I met in Khabarovsk, how she survived. Shelly (and her husband, Mark) had to wait 8 months to go back to get their sons. She said she took on more classes to teach and pretty much kept herself busy with other stuff. She is lucky. She works outside of the house. My computer seems to have a suck factor. Everytime I go to do something else I gravitate back to the computer, just to check for an update. So what do I do about it? Work!
I try to pretend that I don't actually have a job, but in reality I do. I am a business owner. I actually own a landscape design business. News to you? Likely no, but to me it is.
I got a call this morning from someone who saw a back yard I designed and now she wants me to do her yard! Makes me feel kinda good! Apparently, not only am I a landscape designer, I am a good one at that. Who knew?
So here is the plan... take on as many design clients as I can find. Continue to promote my Big Yellow Box business (any takers on a party?) And, do what any self respecting gardener does! Play in the dirt.
Less feeling sorry for myself, actually putting on makeup, and make the bed every day! When all else fails, rearrange the front yard in the rain.

I did do some reading of a blog by another pre-adoptive parent. She had posted a story that really touched my heart. She heard it at an informational meeting for her agency (also waiting reaccreditation) I thought I would share it with you.

Different Trip to the Same Place
Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place. You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding the planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you: You'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait - and wait - and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax, you'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, We're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat." "By boat!" you say, "going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money, I really had my heart Set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. It's a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip. Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as thy like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy." You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you got there, but in the place itself.

this week's "update"

2005-09-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

I have trickled some news to a few of you, but I thought I would sum up what we know, or rather don't know.
On September 15th the Ministry of Education met regarding the status of reaccreditation. We thought our prayers had been answered when we found out that they had reaccredited 2 more agencies. Unfortunately, the did not do ours and 2 looks like their limit for now. We don't know when they will meet again to further the process.
Our other tidbit of "news" is that on the 20th 2 families (1 American and 1 Spanish) had their court dates in Khabarovsk. (Not with AIA) They ended up being required to complete an 8 doctor medical form. The judge postponed court so they could complete the form. They scrambled all over town getting various tests done. Needless to say, they got the form finished and had successful court the next day.
So what does that mean to us? We did receive word from Olga that we too would likely have to have this form completed. She has not gotten official confirmation of that. Unfortunately, this form will have to be done in Russia. Olga says that we will have the doctor's visits in Moscow, rather than in Khabarovsk. So now... travel will be a little more complicated. We now will fly from Seattle to Moscow. Stay in Moscow to have the medical exams done. Catch an 8 hour flight to Khabarovsk. Have court, pick the baby up from the orphanage, wait out our 10 days in Khabarovsk. Then we hop another 8 hour flight back to Moscow for the baby's medical exam and Visa interview. Then we will finally get to come home.
We are hoping that the first stop in Moscow won't be that long, but it does afford us one advantage. We will likely travel when it is snowing. So during the first Moscow visit we can do some sightseeing without having to worry about bundling up a child! Hey man, I am trying my hardest to look at the bright side of things!
That is the news for now. Please keep the thoughts, prayers, and COMMENTS coming! I check the blog every day for new comments. They are very helpful for those rough days.
Please also keep the families currently in Khabarovsk in your prayers. There is 1 family there with another agency. They have court today. 2 more families are traveling at the beginning of October to meet their children, also another agency. They need our support too!
Blessings, Lisa

A little bit of an update

2005-09-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

It seems like all summer long we have done nothing but wait for news. No news has come. Yesterday there was an unusual amount of reporting activity by various news agencies. More that we had seen in months. Any information we had found over the summer was primarily negative. However, the tune has drastically changed in the past 2 days! Yesterday's articles talked about the Russians knowing that changes had to be made to ensure that childeren were placed in good homes. Essentially they would like a revamp of the post-placement reporting system. They also want the ability to take away the accredidation of any agency that violates Russian laws.

All summer long there had been talks of a moratorium on Russian adoption by foriegners. This has put some families into utter panic. This morning I woke up the the most wonderful news story I have read in months. I am not joking when I said that it brought me to tears!!!

According to the Russian News & Information Agency:
"The State DUMA turned down an amendment by Deputy Nina Ostanina, from the KPRF Faction, to impose a temporary moratorium on the adoption of Russian children by the citizens of those countries where Russian children died at the hands of their adoptive parents."

This means no stop in Russian Adoption!!!!!!!!! Families with our agency stared a pool two weeks ago on when reaccredidation will take place. Today is Derek's pool date. So far he hasn't won, but this little bit of good news is a very hopeful sign. Since there is a pool I want to open it up to our friends and family. If you want to participate go to our Urban Landscapes website. www.theurbanlandscape.net/ouradoption/htm Then click on "The Pool" button at the bottom. You will see a calendar with the dates that others have picked. Email me your pool date! I will enter you on the calendar and the winner will get a Russian Chocolate bar when we return!

This one isn't a fundraiser, doesn't cost you any money, but is fun!!! We all need a little fun in our lives.
Blessings, Lisa

What you do when waiting...

2005-09-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

I figured I could fill you all in on what kind of stuff we do while waiting for Alexander. Many other adoptive parents are full of advice on what you should do while waiting. They suggest sleeping in as many days as possible, read, take time for yourself, that kind of stuff.
So what have I done? Over the summer I have read quite a few books. I finally had to put down the parenting and adoption books. So 2 of my favorites from the summer read have been, "Life of Pi" and "As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me". Both were great survival stories. The first is about a boy who is trapped in a life boat with a Bengal Tiger. The second is about a man who escapes from a Siberian Labor camp and travels home (walks) to Germany. They are those amazing "against all odds, never give up stories". Can you see I have a theme here?
So the rest of the summer consisted of working in Derek's office, boring...Yes. But is was conducive to the reading. We spent a day at the beach, helped 2 people move, met some new friends and tried to do a little yard work.
My captivity in Derek's office came to an end last week, so now I have to reinvent my time. Yesterday was my first "official" day off and on my own in over 3 months. While in the office I composed a list of stuff I want to get done before Alexander comes home. I was able to cross 3 things off the list yesterday!! I cleaned out and reorganized the pantry (found Girl Scout Cookies and watched the fat cat chase the cookie box around the house), I moved all of our not-so-kid-friendly alcohol up above the refrigerator, which of course required cleaning out above the fridge. I also cleaned out above the stove, always a fun job.
On a side note, I am anxiously waiting for the FedEx man to deliver 5 boxes of fun! I signed up to be an Independent Consultant for Big Yellow Box (BYB). It is a direct sales business from Crayola (tm). Evidently I have a hard time separating myself from Hallmark businesses. I am so excited about this new adventure. I will be doing in home parties and selling BYB products. They are all inclusive craft kits geared toward bringing families together. Check out my website and the stuff at www.bigyellowbox.net/lisal This new business venture will allow me to work from home, earn a little extra money, and give Derek and Alexander a few "guy nights" a week! A win win for all.
Off to do more laundry, sew a duvet cover, and maybe finish 1 or two more items on "the List".
Blessings, Lisa

The Results are In!!

2005-08-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who participated in our Barbecue Cook-Off. The turn out wasn't as great as we expected, but for those who did attend we are so grateful!!! For those of you who did not attend... your loss. The food was out of this world! I can't believe the variety of dishes we had. Everthing from Smoked Ribs to Lamb, Potato Salad to Snicker Salad and every type of pie imaginable.
I had some requests to post the results, so here goes.
In the Barbecue category: The winner of a $25 gift certificate to The Warthog BBQ was Stan Solmonson. Stan made Smoked Ribs that were incredible. Everyone just raved about them!
In the Salad category: The winner of another $25 gift certificate to The Warthog BBQ was Kersten Shaffer. Kersten created the most unusual dish, Snicker Salad. No this isn't snicker because it is funny, but Snicker as in the candy bar. It was like eating a carmel apple with a fork! Apples, Snicker Bars and a sweet creamy dressing... what more could you ask for?
In the Desert category: The winner of a dinner with a good friend was Danielle Lemieux. I had requested that Danielle make her famous Apple Crisp. I must have good taste, because she won! So she gets the best prize, dinner with me!
All in all the event was a success. Even if we didn't make thousands of dollars, we had great weather and we got to spend a fantastic afternoon with some wonderful people! Thank you all for your support.
We are inching closer to our financial goal, but I promise... no more fundraisers. You have all given so much as it is.
Blessings, Lisa

A call to action!

2005-08-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

Throughout this process we have received so much love and support from all of you. We often hear from people "We wish there was something more we could do to help". Well now there is something that everyone can do. Some of you may or may not know that there are those in political power in Russia that are looking for a moratorium on foreign adoptions. Most of those anti-adoption sentiments are against US families and come from ultra-conservative, anti-American voices. It is time to make our voices heard. We have learned from the ONE campaign that individuals can and do make a difference. I have posted a link to the American Foundation for Orphans Abroad. From their website you can find a letter that urges our politicians to take action to prevent any further delays in the international adoption process. They also have links directly to the sites where you can find the addresses, phone numbers, and emails of your senators and representatives. I know that we have asked a lot of all of you in this journey. So now we ask you once again for your help. Please time some time out of your busy schedule to fight for the rights of the orphans that don't have a voice, even in their own government. We ask that you use the letter on AFOA's website or even write one of your own and send it to your legislators. Some will tell you that it's better to write a letter or call than to email your thoughts. I personally think that contacting them any way possible is better than not at all. Remember that these people work for us and that we pay their salaries, it's time that we get something back in return. This is finally a chance for us to be proactive rather than sitting around and waiting for something 'bad' to happen. This issue affects the future of not only our son, but the other 700,000 orphans that languish in Russian orphanages everyday. It's time to take a stand and let our politicians know that this is not just about adoptive parents rights, but about human and children's rights. I know together that we can make a difference.

Our own prayer chain

2005-08-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe that as a body of Christ we can move mountains. I have asked for your prayer support in the past, and aI am asking for it again. People ask us if we know when Alexander will come home. I say we have no clue. The response, "so you really don't know?" This is true, we really have no clue at all. We can't even give you an estimated time line. So here is what I am proposing. Please say a small prayer. Ask God for the Russian government to think of the children waiting to come home. that they might finish the process of giving agencies back their licenses. This is the first step in the process. Then I ask that you ask one other person to pray also. If 50 people read this and ask 1 other person that will be 100 people praying for these children. I know this sounds like one of those chain emails. "Forward this to 7 people and in 4 days you will get a check for 1 million dollars in the mail!" I assure you no million dollar check will show up in your mailbox. You will just be part of a small effort. You will ask God to help bring hundreds of children home.
This is one mother asking for help from other mothers, sisters, fathers, sons and everone else that might happen upon this. Take 2 seconds and post a comment. It is easy: click on the "comments" link at the bottom of the post. Type your comment, prayer, a bible verse or anything else in the "Leave your comment" box. You don't have to leave your name if you don't want. I plant to print out your prayers and tack them to a board I have at home. This will serve as a reminder that we are not alone in this process. As brothers and sisters in Christ we really can move mountains.
Blessings,
Lisa

Happy Birthday Alexander!

2005-08-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

We are sending all of our birthday love to our son. Even though he can't be with us on his birthday, we will be celebrating nonetheless. Please remember him in your prayers today. We hope against hope that things in Russia are resolved soon so we can bring our son home.

Barbecue Cook-off

2005-08-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

This is an invitation to all of you in the Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia area!! On August 27th at 12:30 we will be hosting a Barbecue Cook-off and Bake-off. The event will be at St. Mark's Lutheran Church by The Narrows. So what excactly constitutes a Barbecue Cook-off? Well here is how it works.
You have 1 of 2 options...
Option #1 - Be a contestant. We are still seeking people to be our contestants. You don't have to be a world famous chef! Anyone can participate. As a contestant you can sign up for 1 of 3 categories, BBQ, Salads, or Pie. You provide the food and BBQ, if applicable. Set up time starts at 9:30 am. The amount of food you provide is up to you. But remember, the more people you feed the better chance of winning.
Option #2 - Be a "judge". All of the guests are judges. Each contestant will have a jar at their station. As a judge you sample all of the food and place money in the jar of the contestant you think is the best. The contestant with the most money wins.

So you want to participate? Just send me an email wynsigel@hotmail.com and let me know. I will send off a registration form and the guidelines. If you want to be a guest join us on the 27th at 12:30.
We are hoping to make this a very successful event. We are very close to our financial goal and this is our last big effort! The best part is as a contestant you get to participate in a fantastic fellowship event and as a guest you get to have a great Barbecue Lunch!

Blessings to you all!
Lisa

An Ink Drive!

2005-08-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

We have a very good friend in a man named Nathe Lawver. We met Nathe at our church. He and I serve on the youth and family ministry committee at church together. The interesting coincidence about Nathe is that he spent some time in college studying abroad in St. Petersburg, Russia. He is one of the only people we have met that truly understands what the "Russian experience" is really like.
Nathe has a theory. Russia does not do anything without there being an official stamp placed on a piece of paper. Actually, there must be about 30 stamps to make it really official. If you don't believe me, ask him about the time he had to have some medication shipped from the US to Russia. No kidding, 30 stamps on one piece of paper.
I believe the Russians stamped our passports 4 times each, the official form to adopt Alexander twice and a few other miscellaneous items a few times.
Nathe was convinced that the reaccreditation was not happening because the Russians needed a larger stamp. I got to thinking about this. I don't think it is the stamp that is the problem. I think they ran out of ink! I also believe that the ink comes from some remote village in South America, and must travel via burro and then into the Russian postal system. The trick is finding the swimming burro to deliver the ink from South America to Russia. Thus the slow down.
I know this may sound a little crazy, but it is the only way we can justify the slowness of the whole process. So I say we start an ink drive! This has to be much easier than teaching burros to swim!
In all seriousness, we need your prayers. I don't want this process to drive me totally insane. If I am considering the possibility of teaching burros to swim then I must be loosing it! Please add the Ministry of Education in Russia to your church prayer chains and personal prayer lists. This won't get done without a little bit of our "stamp".
Blessings to you all!
Lisa

No News is.... Well, no news

2005-07-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

So we received an email from Olga at AIA today. To make a long email short, she basically said that they have no news to report on reaccreditation at this point. There have been lots of rumors that have been going around on the various adoption internet chat boards. Some people say their agency told them any day, some people say in August, and so on. The truth of the matter is that Russian Ministry of Education (who is in charge of all this) will reaccredit the remaining agencies when they feel it's appropriate, and nobody knows when that will be. So for now, we wait. Just like we have been doing so far. We wait and hope and pray that this will all get sorted out soon and we can bring our son home. To add to all this, we also learned from Olga that we will need to get a piece of our paperwork re-done. At this point, we will do whatever the Russian government wants us to do, as long as it gets us one step closer to the end. One step closer to holding him in our arms again... but this time it will be forever. So we ask for your support and strength to get through this waiting period. Hopefully we'll get some good news soon.

Good news and frustration

2005-07-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

First some good news. We finally got a small glimmer of hope and received all of the paperwork that we need to submit our final dossier. So we will be mailing the paperwork to AIA along with a check for the first part of our agency fee later today. Yeah! The only thing left to do as far as paperwork is concerned is our medical exams. We had them scheduled for next week but received word from AIA to postpone them for another couple of weeks. The medicals are only good for three months so if we have them too early they might expire before we get our court date in Russia.

On to the rant.... just kidding. It has been a frustrating couple of weeks for Lisa and I. I told myself when we started this process that I was going to be patient, realizing that we were on 'Russia time' when it came to the adoption. I am learning now that it is much easier said than done. For those of you who don't follow the happenings in the Russian adoption community (uh... that's probably most everyone), there was a very unfortunate occurrence in North Carolina 2 weeks ago in which a mother is accused of killing her two-and-a-half year old daughter. The little girl in this case happened to be adopted from Russia. This case has compounded the anti-American sentiment that is present in some sectors of the Russia government. The media in Russia seems to have an anti-American bent to it as well and tends to write inflammatory stories with 'details' that could be true or untrue. So, of course, now there are all sorts of rumors of things like moratoriums, pyschological evaluations before adopting, etc. Meanwhile none of this is helping our agency get any closer to the reaccreditation that they need so we can finish our adoption and bring our son home. We ask all of our friends and family to pray that the Russian officials gain the wisdom and insight to realize that a slow down in the adoption process does not benefit anyone, especially the children waiting to adopted into loving, stable families. We also pray for strength, courage, and patience at a time when it's hard to find any of those things.

Feeling better

2005-07-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

I suppose many who follow our blog don't read the comments that are made. Oddly enough Derek made a "comment" on my last post. Here it is:
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it surely will take place. It will not be delayed." Habakkuk 2:3

Funny thing is, I sent him that verse earlier in the morning. He just took the time to remind me. International Adoption is the biggest emotional roller coaster in the world! One day you are on a slow steady climb the next you are hurdling at breakneck speed into a corner that threatens to whip your head off.

I appreciate all the love and support you have given us!
Blessings, Lisa

What do you do when...

2005-07-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

all you want is to have your child home in your arms and what seems like the entire world is standing in your way?

Lisa

An update

2005-07-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

So there really isn't any news, but quite a few people have been asking for and update. Here is what we know so far.
First I must explain a little bit about accreditation.- Our agency is awaiting reaccreditation. This is essentially their license to work in Russia. Russia began requiring agencies to be accredited in 2001. Each year the agencies have to apply to be reaccredited. Our agency's expired in January. No agencies could be reaccredited because of the new law changes that took place in December and January. They (the Russian Gov't) had to figure out who would issue the reaccreditation. They figured it out and now they are only doing a few at a time. They were supposed to meet last week to issue the new accreditations, but the meeting never happened. Hopefully this week.
Second I have to explain a little about the Federal Data Bank. The Russian Gov't requires all orphans available for adoption to be placed on a Federal Data Bank for 6 months. This is to allow Russians to be able to adopt them first. Once you accept your referral you sign a piece of paperwork (in Russia) that states you wish for them to be removed from the Data Bank so you may adopt them.
So this is how we think the rest of the time is supposed to go. The agency states that without complications it takes 2-3 months to receive a court date. I think that first we have to wait for AIA to be reaccredited. (who knows how long this will take). Then we will have to wait for our release letter. Other families who traveled in late March and early April just received theirs last week. So if our release request was filed before the reaccreditation stop... oh, who knows. After the release letter Irina, our facilitator in Khabarovsk, can then collect Alexander's paperwork and we have yet another medical exam. All of the final paperwork is compiled and approved by a court clerk. The paperwork is then put on a judges desk awaiting a court date. The judge has 60 days to schedule a court date.
My estimate is late September or October. Derek is still holding out on late August or September. I will just be happy if we get to bring him home before Christmas.
We ask that all of you pray for the families waiting. One family with our agency has had their first trip cancelled 3 times! It is just breaking her heart. Please pray that the Russians get this settled so we can bring our children home!
Blessings! Lisa

We can officially be parents!

2005-06-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received the best birthday gift, short of actually holding Sasha in my arms. We got home from dinner last night and in the mailbox was our 171-H letter! This is the letter that states we can officially be parents to an orphan. In otherwords our permit to be parents. This is the 1 piece of paper we have waited 15 weeks to get, pay hundreds of dollars for and agonize over. The only personalization of this piece of paper is our names, the date the application it was filed and the date issued, that we could adopt 1 or 2 children and then an initial at the bottom. It doesn't say much. I don't care! I am just happy we have it!
Now if we can only find the way to come up with the money to file the final paperwork...

Lisa

More about Russia

2005-06-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

I said in my last post that I would take some time to talk more about our experiences in Russia. It already seems like it's been forever since we were there and we miss our son everyday. The town of Khabarovsk is a fairly good sized town with something like 700,000 residents. The part of the town that we saw the most of runs along three main streets. We spent most of our time walking Carl Marx Blvd and Amurskya Blvd between our hotel and the river. I think I was expecting the town to drab gray and depressing. I was surprised to see how many of the buildings were painted in bright colors and they were in the process of painting more while we where there.
It was great to meet up with our family friend Galina and have her help navigating town. She showed us how to use the bus system (though we never ventured on the buses alone), the best place to buy 'authentic Russian souvenirs' and the best store to buy good Russia 'wodka'.
It was almost surreal to walk up and down the street and not hear any English beside what was being spoken by you. Even more so to stand in Lenin Square staring at the statue of Lenin himself. To think that these places, just 15 years ago, would have been impossible for someone from the United States to see, yet alone stand in.
It was a lot of fun to be able to meet the other families that were there to pick up their children. They are all amazing people. We thank Jen for the sage advice about waiting for a court date. She said "You'll go when you're supposed to go..." Astonishing how such simple words can bring such peace. We also got a chance to meet Ciarai and Jose who live in Seattle. They are great people that we look forward to being able to connect with on a regular basis.
I guess I should also mention our esteemed travel companions, Doug and Candy. They are fantastic people and we enjoyed the time that we got to spend with them. Hopefully we'll get court dates at the same time so we can travel together next trip too. But next time we're going to make Candy leave her hairdryer at home since she knocked the power out in the hotel... twice. LOL. I'm sure that Doug can hardly wait to get back so he can have more Kvas. Kvas is a drink made from rye flour that tastes a lot like sucking on wet rye bread if you ask me, but he loved it. Anyway, time to cut this post off. I'll try to post some more about our hijinks soon.

The experience from the point of view of 'the dad'

2005-06-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Thought I might post and give you my point of view on the 'big trip' since I realized that all the posts from Russia were written by Lisa. I can truly say that last week was the most experience filled week of my life. I would have never imagined that my first trip abroad would have been to Russia, much less far eastern Siberia. Our flights to and from Khabarovsk went quite well considering they were so incredibly LONG. I was extremely happy that the flights were mostly turbulence free since my traveling companion has the tendency to get motion sick :) I am also quite convinced that if we want to have another child that we're going to adopt again since I am most likely sterile from all the security screenings that we had to go through. But we made it Russia safe and sound and that's all that matters.
The people in Russia are very gracious and must also be very patient to put up with us stumbling through the few phrases we knew in Russian. The food was pretty decent. I only encountered one meal that I didn't like. If you ever travel to Russia I suggest that you stay away from the 'fried river trout'. We never felt unwelcome even though I'm sure that we stuck out like sore thumbs. People seemed to stare but that may be because we had on the brightest clothes in town.
The trips to the orphanage were something that I'll never forget. I too was amazed at how clean it was and how well that the children were taken care of. The smells, sounds and colors are ingrained in my mind. Like one of the other adoptive parents said, the play room at the orphanage will be forever burned into my memory. It is the place where you meet your child for the very first time. For me it also contains many other 'firsts': The first time I saw Alexander, the first I got to hold him, the first time we played together, and probably the most important- the first time I saw him smile and heard his incredible little laugh. His laugh was amazing, bringing a warmth to my heart that I've never experienced before. It filled the whole room and was contagious. It really amazed me that after all that this little man has been through in his short life, that he was still able to laugh and enjoy life. It speaks volumes to type of care the wonderful workers in the orphanage must give the children they watch over. Like Lisa said in one of her posts, we also got to meet the director of the orphanage. She is extremely personable. She told us that Alexander look liked me (except he's more chubby) and that we were invited back to 'get him a sister'. I have no doubt in my mind that these women would like nothing better than to be unemployed because all the children had found homes.
When it was time to go home, there was some obvious sadness on our part but also some peace that came knowing he was healthy and well cared for. I don't think that it really hit me until we had to board the plane to come home. It was hard to leave Alexander there, but we knew that it was only temporary and we'd be back soon. I had a chance to hold him in my arms one last time and tell him exactly that before we left the orphanage.
Well, this post has gone longer than I expected. So I will leave it at that. Next time I will post some more on the town and the other wonderful couples that we met while we were there. Thank you again for all the support and prayers as we continue this wonderful and exciting journey

The Miracle Weight Loss Program!

2005-06-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

Have I got a deal for you! For only $10,000 you too can loose 6 pounds in 4 days! For an additional $20,000 you can loose 15 in 20 days! Doesn't sound like fun? Then Russian adoption is not for you.
Yes... We are home and I am awake enough to have a bit of a sense of humor. Derek and I have lost about 6 pounds each from the wonderful Russian food, the 2 meals a day and the miles that we walked. Khabarovsk is a wonderful city. The main areas of town are very clean and the people are quite friendly. We did stick out like sore thumbs, but otherwise we went un-noticed. Our visit was far too short, but worth every air mile flown.
There were so many experiences, and it hard to remember them all. From the fish with a face, to meeting 5 other adoptive families to the trolly car packed with 120 people. The Babushkas that sweep the sidewalks with little tiny brooms, the big Kvas (rye drink) tanks on the street corners, and the news stands that sell bottles of beer, also on every street corner. Russians eat ice cream all the time! Lee and Dad would fit in perfect!
The orphanage was absolutely immaculate. Alexander is well taken care of and at 18 pounds, well fed. We appreciate all the comments you made on our blog. It was so nice to hear from family and friends while we were gone. We treasure all of those kind words.
Our next challenge will be finding the resources to bring our son home. Our agency wants our final paperwork by the 10th of June so it can be translated and sent. Of course that means payment too. 4 days to come up with $6650 won't be easy, but somehow we have had the money to this point. The next leg of the journey won't be easy, but we know that with your prayers and support it will happen. If we can find a way we might be able to bring him home by late July or early August.
I am also trying to find organizations to tell this wonderful story too. As we have mentioned this has been a true calling from God. Everything about this little boy is not just coincidence. I want to be able to tell people about this journey. If you know of an organization who would like to have a guest speaker to talk about following the call of God pass my name onto them. I want to reach out and share this with everyone.
Blessings to all of you and keep following our adventure. Send us your comments as we love to hear them!
Lisa

A hard day

2005-06-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

We have just returned from the notary to sign the official papers to adopt Alexander. This afternoon was quite difficult. Although I am much better at feeding than I was yesterday. Not sure he actually likes the food he is fed, I know I wouldn't, but that is what he gets and he doesn't spit it out. Of course he is quite the chunky monkey. We got to play today and took lots of photos. He already is smitten with the other couple's little girl Hannah. He spent a good part of the afternoon checkin' her out. I told him that we would hook him up with her mommy's email address. Uncle Wayne will have to teach him a few pick up lines!
At about 3:15 our translator Katjia told us it was time to go. We took one last group photo and had to say good bye. We took him back to the group with all of his buddies. Let me tell you that was hard. I just had to walk out and not look back. I told him I would be back to get him soon and that there are so many people that love him and can't wait to see him. He really is such a sweet little boy. Very serious, but quite the little character. Likes to bonk himself in the head with a ring from his stacking ring set.
The four of us returned to the hotel to wait for the call to go to the notary to sign the official papers. At about 4:30 Irina called and we were off. We were read the document we were signing and found out that his offical name is Alexander Nikolai (last name I can't remember). So we have some serious thinking to do about his name. He may actually end up Alexander Roy Nikolai Lindholm. I am here to tell you this kid was meant to join this family.
We are now off to the store to pick up some "good Russian Vodka". Pray I don't down it on the way home. Our time here has been fantastic. The people are very nice, but the food is something to be desired for. The city is very beautiful and they work very hard to keep the busy areas clean. Everyday we learn a new letter and can translate more and more.
Dinner tonight will be with 9 other Americans. Lots to celebrate! One couple had court today and it only lasted 20 minutes! Irina said that is unusally short, but everything was perfect!
Tomorrow is the dreaded travel home day. We will try to call some of you on Sunday if we are out of the bed. Looking forward to seeing Nathe's smiling face at the airport! Miss you all and love you much!
Lisa

News from Russia!

2005-06-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

It is official! Tomorrow we will sign paperwork to officially adopt Alexander Roy Lindholm! I am currently sitting in a very small closet at our hotel just overwhelmed from the afternoon we have just had.
I suppose I could start at the begining. We landed in Khabarovsk Russia yesterday afternoon on a very bumpy runway, infact the runway was also the taxi-way. Customs was no problem and as we were walking out the door to meet Katjia, our translator, we heard, "Lisa?" Galina, Tamara, and Evelina were all there to meet us too. (I will explain them at a later date.) We exchanged some money and were off to our hotel. The hotel is quaint. Only 16 rooms and the bed is very low to the ground. The furniture is something of a flea market find, but comfortable.
We took a walk around the city to find the place the other families are staying at, but with no success. We are able to decipher some of the signs, but really need to study our cyrillic alphabet.
Had dinner in the hotel restaurant. Russian food really is something to be desired for. Derek's fried trout, with head, was not as appetizing as it sounded. Although, the ice cream is wonderful! No... I only had a taste. I am not going to press my luck.
We had a very nice breakfast, also in the hotel and while eating, we got the call from Irina, our facillitator. Andrei the driver would be at the hotel at 12:45 to pick us up and take us to the orphanage. He was right on time. The orphanage is very close to our hotel, but there is no way we could find it again. We had to wait a little while in the van because Irina was finishing up at court. We went in and had to put cloth botties on our shoes to keep the dirt out. The orphanage was very clean and everything was painted pink! We were ushered into a small play like room and asked to wait. I was off in my own little world when a woman came in holding the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen. Hey! I know that face! It was Alexander!!! He was handed to me and of course I began to cry. Then the brought in Elena, the other little girl for the other couple with us. Both just cute as can be.
So a little about Sasha. He is very serious. Calm and very relaxed. He is just learning to sit up on his own and all boy. Has a little scratch on his forehead and a little bruise on the back of his head from that learning to sit up. We gave him a few toys to play with and he of course chose the car chewy. We brought it back to the hotel to put in the fridge for tomorrow. We were able to go to his group and feed him lunch. That was an experience. He eats a porridge like food and we feed it to him with a regular spoon. He also drink tea from a cup, but with assistance of course. The caregivers are wonderful and take very good care of these babies. Of which there are about 10 in his group.
After lunch we went back to the play room and Sasha began to break out of his shell. What a ham! He is just in love with his daddy! We then were able to hear his medical information. He is very healthy and I will tell you all about that when we get home. We also discovered that he is ticklish! Auntie G you will be proud to know we brought the space spiders with us. And he loves it. Just laughed and laughed.
We met with the orphanage director, Olga. What a remarkable and charming woman. You can tell how much she loves these children. We gave her the orphanage donations and she was entirely grateful. So we pass that on to all of you who helped with that.
After the visit with the director is was time to go. Too short of a visit, but I will cherish every moment. Tomorrow if the weather is nice we will go for a walk outside. We get to do lunch again and change diapers if needed. I wish I could stay all day and just help these women who work so hard to care for these precious babies.
I will say goodbye for today. We are off to meet with another family and take a walk around the city with Galina. We miss you all and can't wait to come home and show you the photos.
Blessings to everyone!
Lisa

Only 1 more day

2005-05-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

So we are leaving on monday and I am a little scared. I guess it is a good scared, but nonetheless frightened. We are slowly getting around to that packing thing. I actually have to remind myself that we are going to meet our son. We have been so busy with preparations that I keep forgetting that there is actually a purpose for this visit.
So here is how the trip is going to work out. We leave at 1:20pm from Seattle and arrive in Seoul, Korea at 5:00pm on the 31st (the next day!) We will meet up with Candy and Doug Jobes in the airport and have dinner with them. They are also travelling to Khabarovsk to meet their daughter. We then have a 16 hour layover in Korea where we will get some sleep at the transit hotel. We then depart at 9:30 am for Khab and arrive at 2:30pm. We probably won't get to go to the orphanage that day, but we will keep our fingers crossed. We are told we only will get to see the baby for 2-2 1/2 hours each day we are there. But of course we are only there 2 full days.
We plan on having dinner with 5 other families that first night in town. There is one family already there, they had their court date on the 24th. Then 3 families have their court dates the 31st, the 2nd and the 3rd. One big happy family! It will be so much fun to finally see these faces in person.
We will also get to see a family friend who lives in Khabarovsk. Galina Potapova is a friend of Derek's mom and has graciously agreed to see us while we are there. We have not seen her in close to 10 years. We hope she will be able to show us some sights of her town.
We then come home on Saturday the 4th. We depart Khab at 3:40 and arrive in Seattle at 10:10pm. Of course we will have stops in Seoul and LAX. Then it will be off and running to finish up our paperwork so we can go back as soon as possible!
We have one request from our family and friends. Please keep us in your prayers as we travel and also pray for the children we will leave behind. We are preparing ourselves to leave the baby in the orphanage, but we need as much support we can get. We can't do this alone. Also, if you have the time please leave us a comment on the blog. We will be able to read email and maybe post to the blog. But we would love to hear some of your well-wishes while we are gone. It makes us feel very good to know that we have the support of so many.
Blessings to you all! Lisa

Traveling Soon!

2005-05-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an exciting day. We received a package from FedEx that contained our tickets to Russia and our visa paperwork to get into the country. It's hard to believe that after all this time talking about our child that was out there in Russia "somewhere" that will be leaving a week from Monday to finally go meet him. We still have lots to do in order to get ready including packing and coming up with the donations we need to bring to the orphanage, but we'll get there. If we get a chance, I'll try to post to the blog during the trip but the technology may be hard to come by. We appreciate all your prayers and support during this time and look forward to meeting, cuddling and kissing our new son!