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Monday, February 20, 2006
Welcome baby Lucas!
My mom called me today to tell me that my cousin Kate gave birth to her son Lucas. Of course I think Kate had the baby a few weeks ago. It took my mom that long to call. This is not because my mom just never got around to it, she was trying to spare my feelings.

D and I had a conversation about this a few weeks ago. I knew Kate was due at the middle to end of January. I thought it was rather strange that no one had called to tell me. I told D I was a little torn over this one. I wasn't sure if I was irritated that no one called to tell me or if I was happy. The happiness would be from the realization that my family actually acknowledges the fact that I am not in a good place right now. The whole mention of babies, other people having them and me not kinda puts me a little over the edge at this point. My mom really struggled with telling me that Lucas was now part of our family. She didn't want to see me hurt, but at the same time she didn't want me to feel left out of the family.

I am very happy for Kate and Juan! My mom did send me photos (with my permission of course) and he really is a beautiful little boy. There is a photo of him with his daddy and it is just enough to melt your heart. Over 10 pounds too! What a big boy!

So... congrats to the Estrada family on their new addition!! I wish you didn't live so dang far away! Rhode Island is a little far to go just for some baby sniffin'.
Blogger Margaret said...
It is such a mixed bag of emotions isn't it? People outside of this process may not understand it, but it is possible to be truly happy for someone else and desperately sad for yourself and your waiting child at the same time. The feelings aren't exclusive of one another.

Blogger Tricia said...
Two of my best childhood friends gave birth last week. Two little girls - the second for both of them (both had boys already). I'm happy for them, but anxious to have something to share with them. Sometimes I feel like I'm not part of the club, like they don't think I know what it's like to have children, like because I don't there's something wrong with me/my relationship. Oh well, maybe I'm just going through chocolate withdrawl and it's Monday...

Blogger Rhonda said...
Its tough. No one can know how this feels until they've walked this road, unfortunately. It was nice of your Mom to consider your feelings. That's cool.

Blogger jeneflower said...
You know what is ironic? I attended a lot of playgroups and mothers would sit around remembering how much better their life was before kids! (I used to be able to do this and that, etc...)I know they wouldn't give up their kids for anything, but the grass is always greener. Appreciate your life now, both ways have good and bad about them. I know it is hard to believe, but please cherish this time of your life before kids.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It amazes me you how wonderful you are even when the darkest of clouds hung over you! I'm so proud of you!!!
Mom &Mike

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