Well it seems like forever since I've posted anything to the blog. I'm sure that you all have been enjoying the posts from Best Mom Ever (BME), and maybe wondering if I had anything to say. I spent some time this morning looking back at the beginning of this adventure/blog. We certainly have come a long way. I often try to remind myself of the promise that L and I made when we started all this: We agreed to take things as they came. That we knew that this process would have its up and downs and that we would try our hardest try to stay on an even keel. It has been awfully hard lately to be patient, accept things and let go of the things that we cannot control. How do you not get caught up in the rumors, speculations, and "what-ifs"? I will be the first to admit that the last six months have been the hardest of my life. It's hard not to be angry, sad, or wonder if this adoption will ever happen. It would be easy to say how unfair it has all been. How it's unfair that all our friends around us are having babies and adding to their families. How unfair it is when you hear about other friends son and daughter getting their domestically adopted baby before us even though we started our process before them.
But then I take a deep breath and stop... and think. I go back and read our posts about the day that we met our son. The day that we got to hold him for the first time. The day we made a mess feeding him the first time, saw him smile for the first time and heard his laugh for the first time. It could be dis-heartening to think of "firsts" that we have probably missed, but I would rather think about all the firsts we experienced and of all the firsts that we will experience together in the future. The only certainty we have right now is that we cannot give up or give in because there is a little boy in Russia that is depending on us to come back for him. So we will continue to wait along with countless other families for the now infamous reaccreditation to happen. I know that with L by my side I can get though anything. Hey, we've made it this far at least.