1 Fat Gray Cat

This cat is great! She will claw your suede shoes and puke on any rug in your house. She will sleep on your legs and pin you in the bed. She has the knack of finding the hiding place of the clean towels and proceeds to sleep on them. She will clean your kitchen floor of any remaining food debris. And best of all she will ruin your beautiful hardwood floors! Yes, I am taking bids for the fat kitty.

I went to grab something off the kitchen table this morning and felt something strange with my foot. At closer inspection I realized that my beautiful hardwoods are puckered by one of the dining room chairs. This just happens to be the spot where D and I frantically cleaned up a water spill a few days earlier. You see... the fat kitty had gotten onto the table and knocked over the vase that had flowers in it. She of course did this while we were gone and Lord only knows how long that water sat on the floor. Evidently it was long enough for it to soak into the wood! Now I have a big spot of raised wood and I am just heartbroken.

My floors are the pride and joy of my home. I like my garden, but I LOVE my floors. They are the most beautiful red oak you have ever seen. They are done with the short boards, not the long ones. My uncle won't even install the short ones. They are original to the house and we found them under the most god awful blue carpet. My uncles came and refinished them. With one swipe of the sander I knew I had struck gold! Ever since then I have been so careful with my floors. I clean them regularly and even say nice things to them. When I felt the destruction this cat had done to them I literally sat down and cried.

Now if I get any comment from anyone who says "oh, this is just preparing you for when the boy comes..." I will slap you two ways from Saturday!!!! The boy can be supervised. The cat cannot. I have the control to clean up after the boy when he spills his juice on the floor. When the cat knocks over a vase when we are out at the grocery, well I can't do anything about it.

So... I am taking bids. Anyone want a fat gray cat? She'll eat more than her fair share of cat food and sit on your lap and purr.

Actually I can't sell the cat. She is just too damn cute. Besides, anyone who buys her would just bring her back after a few days anyway. She's just that special!